3rd of April 1946
"Dear diary,
Adam died some months ago and I already feel as if it's been a lifetime. I miss all the small things: sleeping while hugging each other, his expert hands while he cooks his special omelette, his hand passing through his hair when he's nervous, the last shirt button he always forgot to fasten, ... All those little things that looked so normal to everyone else but were special to me. Every time I walk in a room for a few seconds I see him, standing in a dark corner and looking at me; then I blink and he goes away.
God, I miss him so much.
I haven't told Danny yet. I know that I should but I can't find the right words ..."
Soft knocks on my front door diverted my attention from the diary I had started writing since Adam's death so that I could go past the grief. It didn't work. I wiped a tear away from my cheek before getting up from my couch and going to the big wooden door.
"Look, I do not intend to buy anything, I've already got everything I need..." I started saying as I did almost two times a week as sellers showed up at my door trying to convince me that I couldn't live without the latest vacuum. I took a deep breath as I opened the door, ready to restart my speech. I froze. I held my breath as I looked at the incredible view I had in front of me: a young man that was probably in his late twenties was standing on my porch, with short blond hair and an immaculate body. I could see a long scar running through his left pectoral.
But it wasn't his beauty that made me breathless.
I couldn't breathe because of his eyes: two pits of a light blue that were so intense I would never be able to forget them. Those were Adam's eyes.
"Well, Miss, I think you could still use an husband" he told me with a grin on his face.
I couldn't manage to do anything more than just stand there and stare at him, my mouth wide open.
"Evelyn..." he tried to say with a feeble tone.
My body moved long before my brain could process all the data: I slapped him. I still can't believe that I actually did that back then... I don't know why I did it. Maybe it was because I wanted to make sure he was real or maybe I wanted to make him feel just a bit of all the suffering I had been through lately.
"Ahi" he complained putting his hand over the cheek I had hit.
He didn't have the time to say anything else: I threw myself at him, hugging him as thigh as I could. He giggled softly probably because he found my change of behavior kind of funny, and he surrounded me with his strong arms, result of an hard military training.
"I can't believe you're truly here" I whispered in his hear caressing his blond hair and breathing in his perfume.
"I am so sorry Eve, I truly am, I would have come sooner but I couldn't..." I heard his voice break and his breath became heavier, as if he couldn't manage to express with words what he felt.
"It's okay, my love, it'll be okay, I promise. Nothing matters now that you're here with me. You... You came back to me."
Nothing else mattered now that we could go back to being a family.
"Just... May I ask you a question?" I asked while stopping my mortally strict hug so that I could look at him in the eye. "How? How can you be here? I received a letter full of condolences from your superior and I thought you were dead..."
He opened his mouth to answer me but we got interrupted by a sleepy voice that came from Danny's doorstep.
"Mommy, who's there?"
I turned to him with a smile on my face and I watched my son. Our son.
"Look who's home! I told you he'd come back!" I said pointing at the doorway where Adam was still standing.
God, he was so handsome and I was so happy I couldn't find the words to describe it.
"But, mommy... There's no one there."
I looked at Adam and then back at Danny with a confused face.
"What do you mean there's no one there? Daddy's finally home, he's here!" I told him with a soft voice.
"He can't see me" interrupted Adam. His face was so sad, desperate almost.
"What are you talking about?" I asked feeling my voice break.
"Your heart matches mine and for it I was allowed to say goodbye" he explained, his eyes full of tears. I had never saw him cry.
"Goodbye? I don't understand..." I whispered, my voice breaking completely.
Than I looked at his face, his desperation reflected mine. I understood and in that moment I felt my heart shatter in a thousand pieces. I couldn't breath, I couldn't move, all I could do was look at him with his figure started to tremble and become more and more transparent.
"No, please, stay, you just arrived. Please, please, please, I can't do this without you" I sobbed falling to my knees.
"But you must, my love, because I won't be here, I don't belong here anymore. Goodbye, my heart, I'll always love you" he whispered kissing my forehead one last time.
"I need you" I whispered in return, but he was already gone.
"Daddy will never return, will he?" asked Danny with his eyes full of tears.
"No, he won't".
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YOU ARE READING
Wait for me (English Version)
RomanceI had never believed in destiny. I had always thought that everyone was the master of its own future, no path was already traced. But now, after all I've been through, after all the pain, I ask myself if I was the one who decided my life was going...