Every December [Soon to be Self Published]

Chapter 24

Lydia

"What are you doing here?" My voice isn't the welcomed reaction Garrett is expecting. My hand clenches the edge of the door. He's actually here, catching me off guard with a stomach full of unease.

"Can I come in?" Garrett steps inside anyway. "It's freezing."

I close the door to keep out the cold. Not because I want a moment with Garrett. Seeing his face brings up too many bad feelings. Being apart from him, I had more control. But he's here, at A.J.'s address. "How did you know where to find me?"

"Really, Lydia? I drove all the way from Annapolis and you're acting like I'm inconveniencing you? You don't answer my texts. Only now I know why. I know because everyone in the ER is talking about you and him. Oh yeah. I've seen the photos. Everyone has." His gaze looks around the room, the reality registering along with the circles beneath his eyes. His disheveled sandy brown hair isn't like him. "Ashley told McKenna where you were."

Garrett glances at the boot on my foot, but walks past me, going into the next room where I had been finishing a movie. He stops in front of the stockings hanging from the fireplace. Guilt rides right up my spine. His gray eyes are perceptive as ever.

"Garrett, I told you, you have my permission to go on this new adventure. Go live your dream. It's what you want."

He scratches his neck. "I can never take back what I did. I own that. Okay?" His voice is fast, like if I interrupt him, he'll never make his point. "Especially at McKenna's wedding. My family isn't going to let me forget that anytime soon. But I had to see you. I think about you every day you're not with me. You said we were over, but I needed to tell you in person that I turned down the fellowship."

Say what? Not expecting that.

He glances at my leg again.

"I'm fine," I answer without him having to ask.

"You know Doctor Ville will move his patients around to take a look. All I have to do is ask."

"I don't need you to have him change his schedule." I knock on my cast. "Nothing but a boring break." Maybe I'm tired or I've been having so much fun with A.J., but my heart is exhausted and broken when I stare at the handsome man taking a seat next to me.

He idly rubs his hands together like he does when he can't work out a diagnosis. His brows are drawn together in concentration. "I don't expect you to forgive me. I don't expect you to go through with the wedding." His gaze meets mine with a hopeful glint that there's a chance this isn't the case. He's opening the door wide for me to step in and pick back up. "I'm asking for another chance. Even with..." He pauses and looks around the room, "with all this and him. I won't hold it against you."

"You love your job, Garrett. I don't fault you for that. But a second chance-"

"Maybe I love my job too much. I don't know why I lied to you. I don't know why I made plans without telling the one person who deserved to know."

"I love you," my tone is a precise, a goodbye. "But this engagement was ruined by uncertainty. First, on your part and now, by mine. You're the doctor everyone goes to if they can't solve a problem or they're having trouble with a treatment. I rely on you in the emergency room, but when it came to us you waffled. You made decisions that impacted our future without asking me-without sharing. That's something I'm not willing to bargain with on my future."

He runs his hands over the tops of his thighs. "So, my staying on at the hospital won't change your mind?"

"No. I'm sorry. Our wedding should have been consuming our world, not tearing us apart. I think you know that though. I think deep down, I did, too. You agreed to that job because I think it was a way for you to get out of this, because something didn't feel right. Maybe I felt it from time to time, or maybe I got caught up in some stupid timeline I set for myself about marriage and kids. Whatever the reason, I think we were bound to break apart." My voice is kind and open. Because no matter what, Garrett and I have been friends. We talk to each other with ease. "I'm not going to decide something different a week from now or in a month. I wish I could give you hope, but I want to start the year fresh."