i didn't know it 'til now
but i've been looking for love
looking for someone who would
make me feel like i was important
like i deserved their hugs
my family always told me
"we give u food
we give u clothes
we care for u
aren't u happy?"
i've been missing something
outside of the things i can buy
yes they love me in their own way
but i'm looking for the love
where i can say what's going on
be validated from time to time
and take up space without feeling wrong
i never got it at home
they never understood what i meant
so i stopped asking
or hoping for change
and then i found love
outside of my home
and they asked me, baffled
"why do u spend so much time
with someone that's not family?
he's average in every way"
his heart is bigger than i could dream
they may not understand
but that's all i need
and one day i sobbed
with the loneliness in my heart
they saw that inside me lives a child
tired and worn down
from standing on her own
because no one stood next to her
a child who didn't prioritize
the materialistic things in life
and just wanted a hand to hold
to be there for her tough times
i never gave up on trying to tell them
they're the only family i have
and in time they realized
i'm not trying to become distant
i'm not just in a moody phase
i'm not ungrateful when i cry
i care deeply for everything
i know i have a lot
so now that they know
they stopped judging my choices
they've been reading me wrong
all this time
i was only looking for love
