𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙟𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙠𝙤𝙤𝙠. | taekook [book 1]

dear taehyung

jungkook stood with his mom outside the plane gate.

"are you sure you'll be okay?" mrs. jeon asked, holding jungkook's shoulders. careful not to press too hard on them, he was fragile.

"i'll be fine, eomma. i just want to visit some old friends. jin, yoongi, hoseok, namjoon and jimin, maybe. tae- yeah. them."

mrs. jeon nodded and gave her son a cautious hug before he boarded the plane.

jungkook flashed back to almost a year ago when he was here, entering japan in tears, his heart feeling as if it had been torn. he was weak and heartbroken.

he was still weak, ill, now but feeling better.

there was part of him that missed taehyung, and part of him that told him to forget about him.

just before turning flight mode on, jungkook received yet another text from taehyung. he sighed shakily and opened it.

___

taehyung: i don't know if you two are speaking but this is taehyung's mother. we wanted to tell you this because you two were extremely close and it'd be insensitive if we didn't inform you.
taehyung attempted suicide two nights ago with a note addressed to you in an open notebook.
please, come and visit him at (xxx) hospital, he's very lonely these days and we need as much mental support for him as possible.
he isn't currently conscious but we'd appreciate it dearly.

___

jungkook clasped a hand to his mouth as his heart sunk. complete and utter panic filled his head, making it ache a little. he quickly typed a reply before turning on airplane mode and closing his eyes, praying to god that taehyung would be okay.

___

jungkook: of course. i'll be there in a few hours.

___

jungkook didn't bother to message his old friends first or even check into his hotel. he rushed straight to the hospital.

he was desperate to know what was written on the note and how taehyung was.

if he could rewind time, he would've refused to go with his dad. well, he had no choice, but he wish he'd cared more for taehyung.

once jungkook had arrived, he dropped his bags at the sight of taehyung lying motionlessly in the hospital bed. his parents sat beside him, his father clutching a tatty old notebook.

"l-let me read it." jungkook bowed respectfully as he took the notebook in shaking hands. he studied every word carefully and every sentence felt like a bullet to his heart.

maybe it was the shock of all this happening at once, maybe it was his illness. but dizziness swirled around his head, causing him to lean on the end of the bed for support. staring at taehyung, with all those tubes connected to him and seeing intricate long stitches on his wrist and very small ones from tiny incisions on his neck made him feel sick to his stomach.

"jungkook, are you ok?" were the last words he heard before blacking out, his head hitting the ground hard.

___

jungkook awoke to his mother by his side. he felt weak and tired. completely drained of energy.

"i told you it wasn't safe for you."

"the doctors said i'm getting better. it was just a little shock and a headache, eomma. how long have i been out?" he took in his surroundings, finding that he was in a hospital bed next to... taehyung. "is taehyung awake- oh."

his head whipped around to see taehyung in the same state he was in when jungkook was last conscious.

"you've been unconscious for just under a day. but you can't go back to japan for a while. not like this."

"what if i don't want to go back to japan anyway? i'm a grown man."

"you know we have to look after you until... the cancer goes away."

"what if it never does?"

"i'm not having this conversation with you, jungkook." there was a pause. "i'm staying at a hotel here for a bit. before i leave, do you need anything?"

jungkook shrugged before his mother stood up and began walking out. he looked to the side, spotting taehyung's notebook on a table between them. he picked it up and read the first three entries, eyes widening.

so many memories rushed back all in one just from a few written words.

"eomma!"

"what?"

"can you buy me a notebook?" he asked as he began to read through every letter taehyung had written but not sent.

then it hit him.

this was his fault.

jungkook shook his head at his own thoughts, convincing himself he hadn't broken the only man who ever loved him enough to do something like this.

even though he had.

he focused back to the letters, eyes getting teary and many joyful memories flashing back.

___

half an hour later

there were several tears staining the pages. some old (from taehyung), some new (from jungkook). he had no idea what he meant to taehyung.

he glanced over at the unconscious man who seemed to have barely aged at all (well it had only been a year and a bit) and admired his symmetrical face, his lips, and his hair which used to be brown, but he'd dyed it a dark silver. how he missed everything about this boy. he loved him so much, and just let it go away. they shared so many experiences together.

and jungkook smiled.

he wouldn't have gotten through that last bit of high school without taehyung.

he looked back at the tear-stained notebook in his hands and closed it. closing the past. the memories. he placed it gently back on the bedside table as his mother arrived back, holding a new notebook and a pen.

"here you go." she handed him the items and was greeted with a weak smile of gratitude.

jungkook waited until she'd left, opened to the very first page,

and began writing his entries.

16th february 2018

dear taehyung...

___

[a/n]: if anyone's actually read this, i hope you enjoyed it! if i get enough reads and votes, i'll make book 2, 'dear taehyung' which i promise will be a lot more interesting!

-jungkookie