The (Not So) Perfect Princess

I get rid of an unwanted person

“You didn’t think I’d just let you slip through my fingers, now did you, princess?” Archie hissed in my ear, making me shudder. “No, you’re coming back with me, even if I have to take you with an arrow embedded in your head. Make a sound and you’re dead.”

Fortunately, though, I didn’t have to make a sound to get my friends’ attention. Eily must have noticed that something was off, because she ever so slightly looked behind her. When she saw me, she spun fully around and stopped dead in her tracks.

“Eily, what—” Scout asked, his voice faltering when he saw me. Q stopped, too.

Then Q’s face turned red—and I mean bright, bright strawberry red—and I almost laughed. Almost.

“Let her go.” Q growled, his voice deadly quiet. I’d never seen him so ready to explode before.

“Sorry, kid,” Archie pouted. “Her majesty here is my ticket to moving up another rank—the kings advisor. What do you think about that, princess? Does it make you upset that your daddy likes me more than you?”

“Not particularly,” I mumbled under my breath, although allowing Archie to have a say in what happened in the kingdom was a bad idea.

Q’s face didn’t look any less red. He only managed three quick steps forward until Archie grabbed my arm and jerked me back so that the crossbow was pressed firmly on my head.

“One more step and she’s gone,” Archie said. I could hear the smirk in his voice.

Q stopped.

“Now princess,” he continued. “Tell the ginger brat to move away.”

“Nessa,” I said as calmly as possible. “Why don’t you go over to Scout, hmm?”

Nessa’s eyes flitted from me, to Archie, then back to me. She gripped my hand tighter. “I don’t want to.”

“Nessa, now.” I scolded. “No is not an option.”

Obediently, but reluctantly, Nessa let go of my hand and stumbled backwards.

Archie then began backing up, dragging me along with him.

“If any of you try and follow us,” Archie said. “Each and every one of you will have an arrow poking out of you. Got it?”

No one said anything. Q’s glare was so icy I was almost certain it would freeze Archie on the spot. Eily surprisingly looked like she was going to cry. Scout embraced Nessa, whose tiny body was wracking with sobs. Archie then towed me around the corner of a building, and my friends disappeared from view. The second they were out of sight, Archie spun the both of us around and began almost jogging forward.

“You’re pathetic,” Archie snickered as we hustled away. “Did you really think you could get away from me? From an army? From your father?”

“I did,” I replied woodenly, walking as slow as I could. “And I will.”

Archie cackled.

“I’m serious,” I said, just as monotoned. “Escaping my parents was a bit tricky; avoiding an entire army was tough; but you? Effortless. Even the village idiot could get away from you.”

“Shut it,” Archie barked, jerking me back and forth to get his point across.

“Do not do that to me again,” I snapped. We were walking away from my friends faster and faster now.

“Why?” he sneered, jerking me again. “Does it bother you?”

“I swear—”

“You swear what, princess?” he snickered, digging his nails into my skin. “What could a tiny, frail, helpless creature like you do to me?”

“Wanna find out?” I snapped, glaring daggers at him.

“Oh, please,” Archie snorted. “You want to fight me? Wouldn’t be much of a match, now would it?”

“You’re right,” I taunted. “I could take you down in a heartbeat.”

Archie’s expression soured ever more, if that was possible. “If you’re so eager to fight me, how ‘bout right now?”

“You mean fight each other right in the middle of town?”

“Exactly,” Archie leered, shoving me a few feet away from him. “Here’s the deal, honey: you have two options. Option one is that I give you a five second head start, and then I hunt you down, bring you back to your parents, and I get promoted. Option two is that you fight me right here and now, with nothing but your bare hands, and I’ll consider letting you and your friends go free. That is, unless you’re too scared to fight me.”

I smirked at him and cracked my knuckles. “Bring it.”

Archie sneered right back and loaded his crossbow.

“Hold up,” I said. “You said we’re going to have a fair fight: just fists.”

“I only said you have to fight with your fists,” he snorted. “Not me.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Fine.”

I advanced toward Archie right away, not giving him the chance to make the first move. Thankfully I was much too close for his to use his weapon, so he swung at me sloppily, but I easily evaded his punches. For once in my life, I mentally thanked the others soldiers for being so awful to me. They taught me how to fight, and fight well. I also was glad I was short; it made weaving and dodging much easier. I ducked under his legs and behind and around him, making him whip this way and that until he was practically spinning in circles trying to find me. Once Archie managed to get his feet under him, he finally spotted me and raised his crossbow. I swung my leg high and kicked the thing from his hand, which tumbled to the ground. Archie stared at his empty hand in confusion, evidently unable to comprehend that he’d just been disarmed by a fourteen year old girl. While he was still in his stupor, pulled my hand into a tight fist, brought back my arm, and socked Archie square in the nose.

“That was for firing Mercer,” I growled, and stalked toward Archie. I grabbed his arm, turned around, and flipped him judo-style over my shoulder. Archie slammed into the ground hard, a moan escaping his lips.

“That was for manipulating Fäbi,” I snarled and planted one foot atop his chest. I grabbed the fallen crossbow, cocked it, and aimed it directly at Archie’s head.

“And this,” I said, my voice now deadly low. “This is for me, my friends, and every other poor soul you’ve crossed.”

“Please!” Archie cried, tears streaming down his face. “Don’t kill me! This whole re-capturing thing wasn’t my idea, I swear! It was The Capitan of The Guard’s idea! I tried to stop him, but I couldn’t! I’m not the bad guy here! The Capitan is, so go get him instead! Let me go!”

“You’re pitiful,” I shook my head. “You’re nothing but a gullible coward hiding behind a weapon.”

I stood, but Archie didn’t try to get up. He just sat there, sniveling.

I removed all of the arrows in Archie’s crossbow, snapped them across my knee, and threw them along with the bow at Archie’s feet. It was useless now.

“Just stay away from us,” I said quietly, and walked away. Archie didn’t follow me, he didn’t even yell out a catcall.

I found no pleasure in beating him up. None at all. But somebody had to put him in his place, and I guess that person was me.

I ran back to my friends.