A Blue Charlotte

Chapter 7

JJ came into the room first, nobody following behind him. Ah... Now it's time for me to deal with him... He closed the door behind himself and sat on the bed, not the chair. Blue swallowed. She wiped her eyes, looking everywhere but at JJ. This isn't fair! I'm not capable of running away... "Look at me, Blue" He said calmly as she stared at the ceiling. No... He can't ruin everything I've tried so hard to build... She looked at him, out of curiosity. He looked exhausted. "What is today?" She asked, surveying his eye bags. "Tuesday" He said, looking at her. His eyes shined. He probably still thought she looked beautiful.... "Ah..." She mumbled, smiling to herself as she looked at her hands. "Why do you always look at your hands?" JJ asked, staring down at her hands.

Blue looked up at JJ. He was still beautiful.. Even with the eye bags and pale skin. Plus his dry lips. He could have herpes and she'd still want to kiss him as badly as she wanted to right now. "When I don't know what to say, I look at the scars on my hands. It keeps me intent until someone says something. It's basically a story on my hand, many of them, that keep me busy" She answered. JJ smiled at her softly.

"How come you did what you did on Sunday?" He asked, still smiling. Blue looked away. She can't lie to his face.. It would break her heart.. "Because I was using you" She said, staring hard at the window, not out of it. JJ stayed quiet for a second. Out of habit, her eyes went to her hands. On her thumb, she had a hole. She stapled her own finger. "Look at me, Blue. Or I won't believe you". He put a finger under her chin, lifting her head up slowly and gently. Her eyes gleamed, tears forming. The sun shined, his eyes being the mirror. He's so beautiful.. One by one, tears slid down her cheeks, dripping onto her hands.

"I-I'm so sorry... I'm a horrible p-person! I don't deserve someone like you... I-I... just want to die.." Blue yelled, squeezing the tears out of her eyes. She formed her hands into fists. JJ cupped her face in one swift movement and kissed her, licking her salty lips. Blue's eyes fluttered. She felt like she was in a daze... in a dream. She didn't want him to ever stop, even if it bruised her lips.

The pain would be worth it. But, he was leaning away too soon. She wrapped her arms around his neck, ignoring the pain in her shoulder. She pulled him close, electricity running through both of their bodies, almost like they were one. But, he pulled away, gently. Their breathing was in sync, heavy. He looked like he needed to say something, but he had a crazy look in his eyes. Lust.

"O-Open your eyes! Don't you dare say that! You act like no one would care if you died. Look at all the people who came today. Who cried for you! Who ended up sleep deprived because they were afraid to close their eyes, thinking they would lose you! I understand that you were going through rough times.. But you should never wish death upon yourself. Especially when you have a loving family and friends. Your mother is gone. You're free!" He said, holding her close.

Blue looked down, placing her cheek on his shoulder, tears dissolving into his shirt. "You're free" He said softly, moving her face to be in front of his. He looked into her dull eyes. Blue cleared her throat. "I-I'm free..." She whispered softly, smiling weakly. JJ chuckled, kissing each of her cheeks softly, then her nose.

Then, he wrapped his arms around her, gently. He was very aware of her wounds and was being careful. Everyone else came into the room, making it just a little brighter. Even though Blue got stabbed 3 times, she was numb to the pain at the moment. She loved this moment. She wanted to capture it. "They're going to let you leave Thursday morning and you'll be coming home with us. We'll have a little welcome home party" Dad smiled, hugging her softly. Blue hugged back.

She was excited to own the room across from Matt's room. That would be her room. That was her room. She wouldn't be forced to look pretty anymore. Or to make guys fall for her. She was her own person. She was free. No more tight dresses. No more blistering heels. No more devil woman. She wouldn't be pressured anymore to be a model. She could be what she always wanted to be. A doctor!!