bryce hall - im sorry

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⚠️trigger warning⚠️
!mentions of self h!rm!

"well maybe you shouldn't have dated me then! everything i say you take as a fucking insult!" bryce yelled. we had been having stupid little fights every day. whenever we were in front of his friends, he wouldn't hold my hand, and he would make fun of me with them.

"but they are insults bryce! you act so different around your friends! you act like we're not even dating." i yelled back. i was so done. he kept making me feel like shit.

"you know what, just, UGH!" he said as he walked out the door. i heard the front door open and close, and the car start and back out of the driveway. i started to cry, i couldn't help it. we had been dating for 8 months and lately he had been treating me like shit. i decided to take a shower, i felt disgusting. i walked into the bathroom and slipped all my clothes off. i looked in the mirror. i was disgusting.

was i not good enough for bryce? is that why he'd be treating me like this? i scratched my love handles. disgusting. i scratched my stomach. disgusting. everything was, disgusting. i looked under the bathroom sink, i grabbed out a knife i hid in the bathroom sink a while ago. i cut deep on my thighs, on my stomach, and on my arms. i couldn't handle it anymore. i wasn't paying attention to anything, i didn't hear the car pull back in, i didn't hear the front door open and close. the only thing i heard was,

"y/n?"

shit. bryce was home. i hid the knife again and grabbed the toilet paper trying to suck up the blood. i turned the shower on and hopped in trying to wash off the blood. i heard a few knocks on the door.

"y/n? you in there?" he asked

shit. blood was still coming out of the fresh wounds. i heard the door open.

"babe"

shit shit shit. i heard him take off his clothes and get in the shower behind me.

"babe?" he turned me around. shit.. i tried to hide my open wounds but he grabbed my wrists.

"b-baby?" he saw them. fuck. he rubbed his thumb over my open wrist wounds. i kept my head down desperately avoiding eye contact.

"oh my- shit." he turned off the water and picked me up and placed me on the bathroom floor. he looked under the sink for the first aid kit, throwing everything out of his way. he found the knife, it still had some blood on it. i heard a sob leave is mouth.

"shit shit shit" he said, he put the knife behind him and grabbed the first aid kit. he disinfected every wound, which was a lot. and put bandaids on them. it killed me to hear him cry. i felt weak.

"stay here." he commanded. his voice deeper than usual. i hadn't talked to him or even looked at him during the whole thing. he can back in and handed me his sweatshirt, his still softish sweatpants and my cotton underwear i always tried to hide from him. i looked at him. his brown eyes were surrounded by red. i had never seen him cry before. he picked up his clothes and my old clothes off the bathroom floor and left so i could change. i put on the clothes and stood up. i opened the door and walked into the bedroom. he was sitting on the bed with sweatpants only on. i looked at him and he looked at me back.

"i'm so sorry." he got up and wrapped his arms around me, picking me up and putting me on the bed. i hugged back and buried my head into the crook of his neck.

when he put me down he sat right on his knees right in front of me on the floor. i was crying too.

"i love you so much baby." he said.
"i never wanna lose you. i'm so sorry i can't believe i said those things. i'm so sorry baby." he put his head in my lap. i ran my fingers through his hair.

"cuddle me." i said without realizing it. he looked up at me and did what i said. he grabbed me and laid down on the bed.

"i'll make it up to you i swear." he said into me forehead. i pulled away a bit to look into his eyes. my eyes were bloodshot. his were too. he kissed me very aggressively. i kissed back of course. i pulled away and buried my head into the crook of his neck.
"i love you." i whispered before dozing off in his arms.
" i love you too."

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