The Adjacent Room [h.s]

Chapter 5

Despite the fact Harry is probably 3 metres away from me and I can smell the tequila emanating off him from here, I can't help but run into his arms. As soon as my small body hits his, I start to cry. And not like a small tear running down my cheek. I'm talking tear stained cheeks and a soaked t-shirt level of tears. I realise how much anxiety I had built from all of today's events, and it's all coming out now. All over Harry's white Gucci Fine Line album t-shirt. I turn my neck to press the side of my face closer to his warm chest, and tighten my grip around his waist. I hope my sudden hit of affection sobers him up because him and I have a serious talk coming up. Hit of affection? What is wrong with me? I pray to myself it's just the stress talking.

I realise I need to end this sob session and question him on what happened at some point. It's not like I can stand here all night crying into his chest. I pull my arms away and wipe my tears as well as I can. I don't have a mirror on hand, but I've never been a pretty crier and I'm sure today is no exception.

'What happened, Harry?' I try to steady my shaky voice, and to my surprise, I think I sound much more stable than how I feel.

'Sophiee, nothing. I promise. Nothing at all. Australia is crazzzyy. People LOVE to drink. I was only joining in with the crowddd.' His usual slow speech is even slower now.

'The crowd? At 1 in the afternoon? Do you know you have a show tomorrow night? You can't just get wasted the night before a show. This isn't how it works and you know it.' I try my best not to parent him, but what else am I supposed to do? Bold of me to even think I could ever parent him after I was crying into his chest like a 4 year old child just a moment ago.

'Yeah yeah yeah, I'm sure you'll be somewhere else during the show. What does it matter to you? Got something better planned? Maybe becoming roomies with Mitch? Or Charlotte?' What is he talking about? Roomies? I didn't even know that word was in his vocabulary.

'Why'd you just disappear like that?' I try to remain calm and divert the conversation back to the issue at hand, for both our sakes.

'Can't a boy just have a bit of fun? I'm 25..oh wait no, 26. I was only gone for an hour..I think'

'No you weren't Harry! You were gone for nearly 8 hours!' I'm starting to lose my calm and I can tell that Harry notices, because a look of recognition flashes across his face.

'I'm sorry. It won't happen again, it was just a bit of fun. One time. Only. Anyway, you can't say anything, you're leaving me.' He whines. Wait a minute. Is he talking about me moving rooms? That's what this is about? Suddenly, I feel sorry for Harry and I instantly regret being so harsh.

'Harry, I know it's our tradition with the whole adjacent room thing, but staying in the same room just isn't appropriate. I'm your assistant. I have to move, even if it's not a room on this floor' I decide to withhold the fact that I woke up in his arms only 12 hours ago and how much it scared me. At this point, Harry has made his way to the bed and we're sitting down, face to face on opposite ends.

'No. See the thing is, Sophie, I need you. Drop the room thing anyway. Who gives a flying shit about that.' Swearing for Harry is out of the ordinary, and it doesn't help that I don't understand what he's getting at, yet again.

'I need you too Harry, but I can still set your schedule and organise all your appearances and events from a different room.' At this, he shuffles over to me and puts his head on my shoulder. I don't know how to feel about this affectionate gesture from Harry, who is technically my boss, but nonetheless, I wrap my arms around him. After 4 years, I've earned the right to do that.

'I don't mean it like that..I don't mean I need you like that. Anybody could do that, I mean, really. Not hard to put together a calendar.' He mumbles into my shoulder. Does he really think that little of me? After 4 years, he just sees me as his calendar girl? Before I begin to question him on if he really means that, I notice his breathing steadying and realise he is fast asleep.

I gently lay his head back on his pillow, and pull the blanket up over his body. I consider taking off his clothes to dress him in something more comfortable, considering his t-shirt is soaked in tears and his pants don't look like a pyjama material, but that would definitely be breaching the conduct of a normal working relationship. More so than we already have, I guess.

I still can't figure out what he meant by his words. Does he really think so poorly of me? I know I'm probably not the best assistant in the world, but does he really think I'm so easily replaceable? What does he mean by he 'needs me'? He definitely needs an assistant because that man is so unorganised, but he basically said anyone could be his assistant? The thought crosses my mind that maybe he needs me as more than an assistant..no, that can't be right. I don't let myself dwell on that for a second longer, because I can't allow things like that into my head. It's not professional and Harry is an international superstar, and I'm just his irrelevant assistant. Through my thoughts, I remember I haven't showered in well over 24 hours, and that doesn't sit well with me. Shit. I haven't even eaten since last night, or this morning I guess.

I spend the next half an hour in the shower trying to make sense of Harry's words, but to no avail. I decide that I'm going to need to talk to him about it tomorrow, because if he wants a new assistant I'm not going to waste my time here, as much as the thought of leaving Harry destroys me.

I raid the mini fridge after my shower, because I don't want to order room service and wake Harry, and the fruit salads don't look so appealing anymore. I tell myself a dinner of cashews and almonds is better than nothing. It also hits me at this point that my plans to change rooms have been foiled, and I'm going to have to spend another night in here.

I look over at Harry, who looks so calm and peaceful in his sleep. He's going to have a killer hangover tomorrow, but it's what he deserves after the hurtful words he said to me tonight.

I decide there's no way I'm sleeping in that bed again since it's what got us into this mess in the first place, so I find some spare blankets in the cupboard, grab my pillow from the bed and take up residence on the couch.

Hours pass, and I can't sleep. The couch is not as comfortable as I thought and even though I'm exhausted after today's events, I can't get comfortable to save my life. I realise my only option here is to move back to the bed, unfortunately.

It doesn't sound like a terrible idea in theory, as long as I stay on the edge and don't go near Harry. All day I've pushed away the memory of how nice it felt to wake up in Harry's arms, and I really can't afford for it to happen again.

As soon as my body hits the mattress, my eyelids become heavy and I feel myself falling asleep, but Harry's words keep playing in my mind. Just as I feel my body relax and I finally drift off, I sense Harry's arm reach over and pull me in closer to his chest. I'm too tired to move away at this point.

'I need you.' he drunkenly mumbles into my hair. I force myself to ignore the comment and let sleep take over, knowing I'm going to regret this in the morning.