07/14/2020 12:52am

A late night thought

I feel as though most of my structure may stem from the lack of structure I have become accustomed to from my early childhood. When I actually sit and try to conceptualize why certain values or ideals appear so important in the integrity of what it means to be a person, I cannot escape the thought that those values and ideals are simply what each individual has been taught to rely on in each world they live in and are comfortable in for the sole reason of it is what they know. Individually I have faced a mass amount of unfortunate situations. Although I can't deny the experiences I've had, I also have never felt eternally damaged from any situation. I consciously know concepts such as money, time, love, and many other things push me in ways where I do need a job to comfortably live, and things that fall into "responsibilities". However, what if I was taught my whole life that comfortably living was a bed that allowed me to sleep and food that just satisfied my health needs. I wonder why humans are so greedy. And I know, money is the root of all evil, and evil thoughts grow off the all too well supplemented feeling of feeling like I always need more.

But when it comes down to it, the hunger for more is never going to be satisfied until as people we realize that more often than not, what we have is in reality entirely way more than what we have ever needed.

This is also a remark that can be held constant to my world as an extremely privileged person. Many people have entirely way too little.

This being said, the only belief I find to be consistent is whatever each person feels is valuable, is in actuality only valuable in their personal world. And whatever we want to define as necessary is what we actively choose to make it that, subconsciously or consciously.

What if you were never told to seek romantic love? Or to feel the need of having one person to grow with?

What if we were never taught luxury? What if a house that supplied extra rooms for the occasional, as in maybe a few times a year someone could rest their head on a pillow that has sat lonesome for ongoing months instead of sleeping alongside another person, was never a normalized concept? What if instead we were taught the value we could provide to others actually in need was more important than the comfort provided to a guest.

Many things I come into contact with seem to not make sense. A friend of mine was complaining about his Tesla not having a sunroof and how he wished the all glass roof opened up. And I wondered why he didn't just spend time outside if that was something he actually sought out. I think the questions of life and all the answers actually most of the time lay right in front of us, but it is impossible or extremely hard to detach from what seems all so necessary to conform to our lifestyle.

And I think maybe, I just float by life because all the beliefs I feel so structured upon are only what I have viewed from the world in which I have grown up in, which happens to be bouncing around many different worlds of the people I am surrounded by. And when I think about the ease of my own life as an adult and how it all just seems to make sense, I could never find the hardships I faced as a child such as foster care, homelessness, or lack of stability more detrimental to my existence than the knowledge it has brought me as an adult of being able to understand and make sense of the many worlds I exist in during a time and place amongst another individual.