1. The Pet
With a glass of Vodka in hand, Russia scanned through his checklist, deciding on his first target. The easiest target. His plan should go flawlessly, it has to go flawlessly . He even consulted an expert to make sure everything would work. He would just have to follow every step carefully. The Plan would work and he would be happy forever. He had decided on the first target. The easiest target.
A Pet.
He nodded and stood up from his armchair by the fireplace. He looked for his hunting net and grabbed his coat. Stepping outside his house, he was greeted by a snowstorm hitting his face. Just the usual weather, no big deal , Russia thought to himself as he started approaching the forest.
He needed something... cute . A cute pet.
He could have just picked a kitten or puppy from one of those pet stores or rescue centres in town, but we don't do that in Russia, he thought, and I want something... special. He looked around and settled down on a big boulder nearest in sight.
As he was setting up the trap for whatever animal he could catch, a small hamster approached him. He smiled and offered his hands, “Come here, don't you want to be friends?”
To his surprise, the hamster smacked his hand and left. The nation's smile didn't falter but his anger started to build up. He spread the net on the ground and started to cover it with snow.
Maybe a bunny like the Netherlands'? That might be cute. Or maybe a deer? Now that's unique.
Hours passed by, still, no animal was sighted in the forest, let alone caught in the trap. Russia became impatient, then suddenly an idea popped up in his mind. He collected the net and went back home. After he got everything settled, he approached the phone and dialed a number.
“Hey Canada, you know you still owe me from the deal last month, da? Now I need a favour from you. Can you send me one of your polar bears?”
Of course, the North American nation had no way to reject that, Russia had made a really nice deal with him previously and it had helped his country a lot. He just wished Russia would treat the animal well, whatever he was using it for.
Three days later, the polar bear arrived. Russia looked at the animal satisfactorily. He would have to give him a name soon, but that was the lowest of his priorities.
Close enough.
A Pet. Checked. Now onto the next step.
2. The Family
Back to his checklist, Russia paced back and forth in his room, planning on his next move.
A Family.
Luckily, he already had two siblings to begin with, the exact right amount. They are both female though and Ukraine is older, but that doesn't matter. Conveniently, one of his siblings even act quite similar to –
“Big Brother, let me come in! Why won't you marry me?”
Speaking of the devil, scratches on the wooden door could be heard. Normally, Russia would be terrified by his little sister's behaviour, but now he has a clear goal, nobody gets in his way. Not even his own family.
“My dear Belarus, stop this right now.”
He said with the door opened. Even Belarus was surprised by her brother's sudden seriousness. Russia leaned in with an unsettling smile.
“Face it, I will never marry you. And guess what, I already have a target and you are not getting in my way. You do that, I can guarantee you, you'll never see me again. You hear me, da? My sweet little sister?”
