Are you scared?

7. The Dream

(TW: Mention of a panic attack)

He looked out the window as I tried to remember the exact way to the cliff, where I took a nap.

"How weird was that dream? On a scale of 1 to 10?" I could feel his gaze on my cheek. My grip on the steering wheel tightened. What am I doing? And why do my ears feel so hot?! It's official; I'm going crazy.

"Eleven." I blinked but didn't show my concern more. It won't be that bad. He's just overreacting. He's Italian, after all. What would I know anyway?

"Okay, after I'll hear you out, I'll tell you my opinion." I smiled, knowing that he was still looking at me. "Francesco thought that Lightning had a nightmare. How is Lightning so calm?" My head slightly turned to the left with a memory that flashed through my mind. The heat and pressure hit me with the explosion present on my skin as I remembered.

"Well, having a nightmare is pretty normal for me. So I don't fuss about it." I grinned with my very much-trained smile. Normal, huh? Who am I really lying to?

"Normal? Francesco hadn't had a nightmare in years."

"Good for you. I mean~ I think it's because there was the thing with Alinol and exploding cars, then doc's dead~ But I am a fully grown man that can handle it." I smiled, looking at the road slowly change from tarmac to dust-covered mountain road.

Francesco was quiet. His speechlessness unnerves me more than his constant bickering. Biting my lip, I looked at him for a second. Francesco had his forehead laid on the window with a puzzled look. But even then, the light reflected in his eyes, and his features intensified by the shadows... Do I find him attractive? No! Wait! That's bullshit! Quick, say something! "We're almost there." I choked out. The image of Francesco with worry in his eyes not leaving me for a second.

"I~" Francesco started something with a noticeable shake in his voice. It took me everything to not put my hand n his thigh to reassure him. What is happening to me?

"Francesco, don't worry. Anything you have on your surly egoistic heart won't ruin our enemy-like friendship." He laughed and said something in his native. Yeah, sure, keep your secrets.

"Yeah, whatever you say." I waved with my free hand before putting it on the shift lever.

"We are here," I announced with a smile before looking at Francesco, who stood near the edge where I fell asleep. Damn, he's fast!

"This is~ Francesco likes the view." I nodded in acknowledgement as I approached him and sat on the rim. "Come and tell me your big secret. oh magnificent Francesco!" I patted the place next to me. He looked suspicious for a second, contemplating whether or not I would push him.

"That'd be a long fall." I looked down and nodded. "That sure would be, but we don't have that in a plan, do we?" I smiled and started to dangle my legs. "Not yet," mumbled the Italian with worry in his eyes as he sat his ass next to me, griping unexisting support.

"Don't worry~" I put my hand on his shoulder. "I'm not planning to end my career by murdering my frenemy." He looked at the hand on his shoulder and then down at Radiator Springs below us. "Okay~" He took a deep breath and put his hand on mine.

"I had a dream~" Some mean comment tickled my tongue, but I stopped and listened. Ruining this little confession wouldn't help nobody. "where Francesco was~" he stopped himself, and his cheeks grew red. Is it about sally?! He said I was figuring in the dream, maybe because I was jealous. Perhaps I was standing there and watching him with Sally. That bastard! I knew he wasn't a great guy but c'mon! My girl?!

He said something in his native as if I understood a word he said. Crypted bastard! "I did this." I was going to ask what, but he pressed his lips to mine.

The sensation of his soft lips caressing mine with such care and delicacy one would only use to express something urgent made me dizzy. His hand on my cheek and his body pressing to mine made my head spin. I was getting drunk on every soft touch and high on every grunt or moan. More. The thought flashed through my mind with such an urgency I gasped. "Lightning~" mumbled Francesco with a deep sensual voice that got in my intoxicated brain. "Yeah?" It sounded like a whimper, a poor pleading voice. "Do you love me?" It felt like a bucket of cold water was splashed all over me. That single sentence got me out of my dazed state. "I... I am sorry?" I gasped before standing up and backing away from the cliff, which now more than ever seemed dangerous. "In the dream, you- Lightning told Francesco he loves him."

It was now that I realized what I'd done. I cheated on Sally with a guy! Not just that! The guy was Francesco, of all people! "In the dream~ Francesco. It was just a dream and this... This was clearly a mistake." I was stuttering, waving my hands, trying to make sense of my feelings, my body's reaction and that sad, longing gaze from Francesco. "Mistake? Lightning, that's hard to believe when you kissed me back." He was right, I did kiss him back, and it felt amazing. However, that didn't mean it was right. "I admit I made a mistake by not pulling away, but you caught me off guard, and quite frankly, I am mad at you. We came here because I wanted to hear you out. Not because of whatever this was." I was holding myself, clenching my hands tightly around myself. I felt like I would fall apart any second. What is happening? Why do I feel like this?

Honestly, I remembered this feeling from my experiences with being in a driving bomb in London; it's the feeling of a panic attack creeping up on me.

(TW: Mention of a panic attack)

Breathing became difficult, and tears pushed into my eyes, but I turned around and walked to the old gas station that was left behind here. With some time, one can find many of these. "Lightning!" The shuffling of clothes made me tense up. I grabbed my neck in a weak attempt to ground myself. Looking for my heartbeat, anything that would bring me down to earth. "DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!" I yelled, and the shuffling stopped. Quite only wind was heard, howling in the treetops. "Take the car and leave. Send Mater to come to pick me up." My voice was shaking with me. I wanted to scream, breathe, anything to stop myself from breaking down in front of Francesco. "Of course," whispered Francesco with an unreadable tone.

His footsteps were taking ages. Starting of the car and the sound of it actually accelerating took longer. Finally, I could break down. 

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Hi! So... This episode was a rollercoaster, wasn't it? I plan on a happy ending for this fic, so don't worry. We'll just have some hurt/comfort along the way. This is also my announcement that I am back to this fic intending to get it done. Episodes should be coming out every weekend so... Yeah. Hope you enjoyed this episode, and I'll see you next week!BYE!!!!!!!