Miss Shuhada

A roller coaster ride

Slowly going up
Then goes down in snap of your finger.
Sharp twist and turn.
Anxiety is waving,
But you'll see yourself scream
And have the brightest smile
Because you enjoyed the fast heartbeat.

Just like loving you.
Too complicated for my mind to understand.
But too strong for my heart to choose you.
We have our fair share of good days and bad days.
Because we're so alike yet so different.

You can make my heart the happiest bitch.
That I can have the brightest smile and happiest eyes that you can see.
But you have the power to snatch it back to the point its physically painful.
You can make my cheeks hurts from smiling for your silliness.
But you can also frustrate the hell out of me.
That crying is the only choice that I can do.

You can make my moods sunshine and rainbows.
But you can make me wanna get drunk till 3am.
You frustrates me to the point I dont want to talk to you for days.
Then you go with your understanding self.
Then I know I'm doomed.
I'll give in,  all the bitchness I have will fade out.

I hate you at the same time I love you.
What the actual fuck right?
I have a lot of questions that I dont have the guts to ask.
When you said you love me,
Is is still real? 
At this point?
At this moment?
Or its just an infatuation?

I know you dont wanna lose me.
And you will not.
Even how much shitty it can be
How frustrated I can be.
I'll stay, I'll always be here for you
As long as you want me to.
I always come back to you anyway.
We have our good days.
But I need to chill the fuck out.
So I can understand it again
Like the way you choose to understand me.

-Jea