Psychotherapy || HS

Six

HELLINGLY ASYLUM

Maximum Security Ward for the Criminally Insane

SESSION FIVE

 

His every move seemed to be laced with some type of intent; everything about his thoughts seemed to reach an unfathomable length of derangement. I worried if calling this visiting of sorts was a bad idea, especially allowing his family to sit in. I'd warned Harry's family beforehand that Harry had been given the wrong medication and therefore might be especially quiet. I was surprised they didn't flinch. Even more surprised when Gemma came through the door, trailing behind with her pinky finger's nail in her mouth, chewing lightly. I instructed them to all grab a seat at my desk and I sat behind the wood, waiting for Harry to be brought in by the guards.

And, eventually, he was pulled in. The cuffs on his hands were removed and I sensed Gemma tense up with the lack of restraints. He didn't open his eyes once he got in the room, only laid on the long couch and placed his hands over his eyes. "Soph, it smells like people in here. I don't like the fact that you have other patients. I'm going to make myself believe that I'm your one and only." He swallowed and we all watched him avoid opening his eyes. "You're too fucking quiet, what's going-" His eyes shot open and widened at the three extra people in the room.

"Harry," my voice was careful and I slowly watched his chest rapidly go up and down. Dry heaving and mumbled words echoed in the room. Gemma bit the inside of her lip until I'm assuming it bled, Anne clutched onto her husband's hand tighter, and Des, whom I'd learned was her husband's name, pulled her into a side embrace. "Harry, breathe." Once I reached him, I placed my hand on his shoulder.

"Why are they here?" His whisper was cracking, along with his façade. "Sophia. Why are they here?" I knew they could hear him, but I decided to whisper to help.

"They wanted to see you, Harry."

"Why?"

"They love you."

He shook his head faster than his heart was beating. "No, they don't. You've seen the court videos, I know you have. They hate me. I don't want to see them. Make them leave." The anxiety from lack of proper medication was getting to him, I need to get him on Haldol.

"No. You're going to last. I promise."

"If it goes wrong, I'm going to rip your office to shreds." I thought he was serious until a slight smile spread on his lips.

"And if it goes moderately alright?"

"I'll snort coke off your vagina." I coughed and nodded slowly with a smile. He laid back down on the couch and I took my seat in my regular chair. "Okay, I'm going to thank you and the God that fucking hates me for getting me off of whatever drug that was." I smiled. Harry Styles was back, but I wasn't sure if I was ready for what might come out of his mouth in the presence of his family. "I've had it bad. From weed to cocaine, but that was terrible. And if you value your time with me and actually want me to take those pills, don't ever give me that again."

Gemma got up from her seat beside her parents and sat on the ground next to my chair. She whispered in my ear, "Can I ask him something?" I nodded with eyebrows tied together in a mixture of confusion and worry. "Harry?"

"Gem. You have the same voice."

She ignored him and he avoided looking at her. "Why did you do it?" Her question couldn't been accepted through many things. Why had he killed so many people, why had he tried to kill his family, why had he killed a dog, why did he become him? Yet, it seemed Harry knew exactly what her question was aiming for, and he blinked, a feathery eyelash getting in his way of vision before he blinked again and it landed on his cheek.

He coughed and asked, "Do you really want to know?" Eyes all wandered over to Gemma, the girl with blue tips now on her brown hair, because Harry liked her hair blonde and pink, so she changed it. She nodded. "I mean it. Do you really want to know? It'll get ugly." Gemma closed her eyes and nodded while I got out of my seat, out of the line of fire. "It wasn't because I have some attraction towards you, Gem. It was because I'd just killed your best friend, and I didn't have anyone to take out my... sexual frustration on. And you two shared everything. Haircolor, hairstyle, clothes. If I closed my eyes long enough, you were her. And that's all that mattered."

He seemed almost vulnerable in front of the three people he tried to kill. Through the time I'd spent with Harry Styles, I'd felt uncomfortable, slightly violated, questioned my sanity, and exhausted. In the time I'd spent with Gemma, which was all of only two meetings, I'd catch her as now vulnerable and afraid of her brother. But in the years I'd spent doing this job, I'd never seen a sister and brother look at each other with love after all that had happened. Gemma inched over to Harry and raised her hand to slap his face.

The impact quieted the sobs in the room from Anne and a small gasp came from Des. I didn't move, the guards didn't come in, and we all stayed in complete silence. Then, she hugged him. A hug that was probably meant to be brief, but Harry pulled her in by the waist as he sat up from laying down. Her kneeling and him sitting, they held onto each other for dear life and I placed my scrunchie that was keeping my hair in a ponytail on my desk, watching them. I wonder if Gemma needs therapy nearly as much as Harry. I didn't dare ask in fear of rejection and overall criticizing.

They held the embrace for what felt like forever. Years of pain not healing, but being buried within the ground of all the bones Harry's cracked, skulls he's damaged, and lives he's taken. She'd forgiven, but not forgotten, and that was all that mattered. After a while, the family left. Gemma hugged Harry once more before leaving, and Anne and Des kept to themselves while rubbing Gemma's back. Harry laid back on the couch with a sigh of relief. The next thing he said made me smile. "So, where's the cocaine?"

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well, ain't harry just a comic?

happy new year's eve, cheers to 2015 ♥