Emote: Shinso x OC Reader

Chapter 2

What? What did he say? My mind was reeling. It wasn't that I hadn't heard him, but my brain couldn't process this. His face, the face that was so familiar to me, was serious as he spoke the words. The intensity in his eyes made me look away first. What the hell am I supposed to do with this? I thought, looking down to my hands which were now hopelessly fidgeting so I shoved them in my pockets to silence them.

"I freaked you out, huh?" He said with a sigh. "Not my intent. I just wanted to be up front with you about where I stand."

Immediately my thoughts went to my argument with Bakugo earlier. 'And I'm sorry to break it to you but I don't give a shit about you or this 'us' you're referring to or whatever! So just give up already and leave me the fuck alone!' The harsh words were burned into my memory and I had initially decided on taking a walk to try to run away from them, to escape the sinking feeling that I may have finally lost something that was never mine in the first place.

Shinso stood next to me, only a few feet away, and although I faced the setting sun ahead of me, I could feel his presence. It was solid and reliable, a force I had become so comfortable with but more recently realized how much I had taken for granted. He had warned me that I would get hurt by Bakugo and I hadn't listened. Wanting to be with Bakugo was like having an itch I couldn't scratch; the sting of it driving me to try so desperately, to claw at it hopelessly even though it always seemed to be just out of reach.

"I...don't know what to say, to be honest." I admitted.

I heard him chuckle before he spoke. "Then don't say anything."

There was no bite to his words, no harsh undertone to them. There wasn't a hidden meaning behind them. I had always loved that about him, that I never had to worry about that. It would appear that the only thing to my knowledge that he had ever kept hidden were his feelings for me.

The orange glow of the sky was slowly shifting into a melody of pinks and purples as the sun continued to dip below the horizon. Glancing over my shoulder, I realized that we should probably head back through the woods before it got completely dark. It was a fairly thick wooded area and if we waited too long it would quickly be enveloped in darkness.

"You want to head back?" He asked, as though reading my mind.

I nodded my head but couldn't seem to take my eyes off of the beautiful sunset unfolding before me. "Sunset spot," I murmured, mostly to myself before turning to meet his lavender eyes. "I'm glad that I ran into you."

"Me too," He said, his lips turning up just the slightest into a soft smile.

Despite heading back before the sun had fully set, it was still quite dark in the woods. Dark enough that I squinted as I stared at my feet, trying to make sure that I wouldn't trip on something since there wasn't a clear path to walk on. I wasn't sure why my heart was pounding, so I tried to ignore the sensation, instead focusing on the flash of my white sneaker that I saw every time I took a step forward. 

A sudden loud snap followed by a rustling sound made me freeze. I was immediately brought back to that night at the summer camp. That woman. Her crazed eyes hovering right in front of me as the blood slowly drained from my body. Suddenly I couldn't breath and I was consumed by the darkness. I clutched at my chest, trying to find the breath that seemed to have been stolen from me. My other hand reached out, hopelessly waving through the air as I attempted to scream but nothing came out.

And then it connected with something solid and warm. His hand wrapped around mine as he said, "Hey, what's happening? Are you okay?"

I gripped his hand as though it was the only thing anchoring me to this reality. Maybe it was. Suddenly his other hand was on my cheek, the warmth of his palm breathing life back into me.

"Talk to me," He said, although this time his voice was closer.

"I'm fine," I choked out.

"I'll believe that when you actually look at me and stop shaking," He was close enough that I felt the heat of his breath against my face.

I realized then that my eyes had been squeezed shut. Trying to relax my face, I slowly opened them, blinking rapidly as I tried to adjust to the darkness surrounding me. Somehow his eyes shined like a beacon, a dark purple galaxy that I focused all of my attention on as the rest of the world seemed to come into focus around it. 

"You're safe," His voice was like smooth honey and his words were like the healing ointment to a wound I didn't realize had been reopened so suddenly. As I nodded mutely, he said, "I'll lead us out of here. Just watch your feet, okay?" 

I focused on the warmth of his hand in mine as he led us out of the forest. His grip never wavered. Before I knew it, we came out the other side and I sucked in a breath as though I'd been running on low oxygen. It was as though I had been trapped in a bubble and it had just been popped, the relief instantly washing over me.

Shinso was watching me closely but didn't speak. We stood in silence for a while before he finally spoke. "What happened back there?"

I shook my head as though it would rid me of the memory. "Don't want to talk about it."

It felt like I had no control over myself. I thought. I just went back to that moment in time and felt trapped there. The thing that brought me back was...

I looked down at our hands, which were still intertwined. Embarrassed that I hadn't realized this sooner, I let go, stepping back as I laughed nervously. "Sorry about that, I probably looked like a freak. I don't even really know what happened myself, but it triggered a memory, that's all."

"You didn't look like a freak, you looked scared. I just want to make sure you're okay." 

His words were gentle and I felt something in my chest tighten. The hand he had held still felt warm from his touch. He had always been so kind to me, had never spoke down to me or been harsh with me. He was my best friend. His confession scared me because I wondered what would happen if I couldn't love him back? I did love him but not in the way he needed me to.

"I'm fine now."

It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth. I thought that I had been in love with Bakugo but it was a love that didn't make sense. He had hurt me over and over again, so why did I keep going back? Was it because I really thought that little of myself? Had I been deluding myself into thinking that he'd actually liked me this whole time, when maybe it was all just a game for him? 

"You want to keep walking or head back to the dorms?" Shinso's voice broke through my thoughts.

"We can head back," I said, although the closer we got to the buildings the more uneasy I felt.

When we got to my dorm, we both stopped as we turned to face each other.

"Well, this is my stop," I said awkwardly, waving towards the building.

I didn't want to be in that room, that room that felt like a prison where I was trapped with my own thoughts. At the same time, I didn't want to be anywhere else, worried that I would run into Bakugo and have to see those hateful eyes burn into me once more. I didn't want to be alone. But it was more than that, I realized with a sudden force that made me speak the words out loud instead of letting me think them first.

"I don't want you to leave."