Broskus was faced with a squat but bustling harbour. Broskus had speed through many harbours lately. He... or she, supposed that's typically what happened when you were indebted to work for a raucous, impulsive, perpetually drunk sailor with more deadlines than brain cells. This harbour displayed characteristics which could only serve to distinguish it from every other port, dock and seaside ever visited. Basically, this one sucked. When Broskus tried to secure the vessel, the post snapped, causing the rope to twist around his? foot and drag he/she into the... could it really be described as water? Smack! The semi-liquid oozed up into his/her, their, their mouth and ears and tasted like the bottom of someone's shoe. They flapped desperately. Would anyone have the decency to put on at least the slightest hint concern? They supposed not. Archer, Emerald and Slug- not their real names of course- could be seen, even now, jumping the gap like rats off a sinking ship from the creaking vessel as it drifted from the walkway.
Broskus continued in vain to make a fuss. Until they spotted the delinquent rope, ploughing a furrow through the filthy waves, and opposite a greasy ladder, protruding out of the sea like a paralysed hedgehog. Either was a way out. It was too far to swim to reach both, their boat was already well clear of the harbour and even if they could reach it with enough energy to swim back, there was no way they'd have the strength to pull it. The captain was most definitely unconscious. Besides, Broskus cringed at the idea of thoughtless heroism. Who- other than one's ego- was really to gain from it. No, leave the emergencies to the professionals. Only fools believed in themselves so unrealistically.
They sighed dramatically, the weight of despair heavy upon their soul, and crawled pathetically towards the towering ladder.
Broskus: "Wait wait, wait wait wait. I did not 'sigh dramatical' with 'despair' or 'crawl pathetically'. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? I didn't even pick the harbour, I full on yeeted at the boat. No way am I willingly choosing to be stuck in grottiest place on earth with a dude who people call Slug. SLUG! I mean what'd he do to get landed with that? Sweat sLIME?"
Oh do calm yourself. I am in the esteemed position, to with great pride, yet commendable humility-
Broskus: humility 🤨
humility, have the honour of being appointed: Narrator! And I will kindly ask you to refrain from breaking the fourth wall, henceforth. However, please allow this one exception, namely, for the record, are you a young lady or gentleman? It is quite impossible to tell.
Broskus: Nope. (Broskus sighed exaggeratedly)
No? Did you misunderstand the question?
Broskus: My gender is: NO!
Really, must you play the fool? I have a job to do here. A serious, responsibility which I uphold the greatest respect for as I do with all my work. With that in mind, I shall ask once more then- decide for you if I must- are you a man or a woman. I have put it quite simply.
Broskus:I'm non-binary. My pronouns are: they/them. I think you'll esteem! yourself or whatever to know that I'm put this simply so yooooou'll understand. COMPRENDE?????
Very well, but I assure you you are quite mistaken.
Broskus: I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
Back to the tale.
YOU ARE READING
The Unexciting, Perfectly Rational, not at all Impressive tales of Broskus.
AdventureSo this is really just to get me into the habit of writing. This is my writing... story... thing, so if it's a bit meh, that's why. No complete novels or fanfics in mind but feedback is 100% welcome.
