See Through

-1-

N/P: Trying My Best by Anson Seabra

♪♪I know you think I got it all figured out
'Cause I walk around like my head's in the clouds
But I'm just a boy with his heart pouring out of his head
I wish that you could see the pain that I've seen
And all of the times I spent being not me♪♪

Its funny how little actions can stir up the whole world. That in a blink of an eye, with one missed decision—everything can change.

It might be the best decision for the driver to steer the taxi to the left, where it will crash into an electric pole instead of the pedestrian lane with a dozen or so children passing. But to the nineteen year-old Luna Allison who was seated beside the driver, that single moment—however right it may be to a dozen or so mothers—had changed her and how she would see the world for the rest of her life.

♪♪I hope you know that it's not always happy in my head
'Cause I don't know
The perfect road to go down
But I know...

I'm trying my best
I'm trying my best to be okay
I'm trying my best but every day it's so hard

And I'm holding my breath
I'm holding my breath 'til I can say
All of the words I wanna say from my heart...♪♪

"Luna!"

"Mom, I told you, its Ally. Call me Ally."

"But that's from your surname?"

I rolled over to my right, where I can see the trees from the open window. The wind blew and some dried leaves were blown into my room.

Mom made a tutting sound and went to shut the window close.

"Mom!" I complained. My mom gave me a frowning look, she shook her head, sighed and went to sit at the foot of my bed. I kept my eyes on the trees.

Mom brushed the leaves off my bed, "Luna, I talked to Dr. Kang."

I grunted to tell her I'm listening or I'm done with this talk. But Mom just considered the first one. She doesn't know (or I suspect she just pretends not to know) the latter. Which makes me slightly irritated. Well, ever since I was admitted to this hospital, I was always feeling annoyed and irritated at every little thing. I even heard my mom saying the same thing to the doctor who just said that it was because of the accident.

Because of the accident.

Just how many times I would hear that phrase from now on?

I really hate it, especially when I can hear the pity from their voices.

"Luna? Are you listening?"

"Mmm." I noticed a bird flew onto one of the branches. It's pecking on the tree bark.

I felt Mom stood and went somewhere in the room. I really don't want to bother. I do feel sorry for Mom, but seeing her try so hard and then struggle to not lose every bit of hope she's clinging on to makes me want to just crumble. It's been me and Mom ever since, when my father had decided he and mom aren't made for each other and go back to his hometown in Korea.

A nurse entered and made the usual routine check up on me. She is Klara, she's just five or six years older than me and she's really friendly. She's the only one that I like in this damn hospital.

"Ally, how's your left arm?" She asked, adjusting the flow of my IV.

"A bit stingy, but doing fine," I sat up. "What's that?"