A Small Visit

Exiting

The two radio broadcasters stood face to face, each was quietly examining the other.

Cecil was almost wetting himself, What is he?! His hands are clawed, spider-like, and as sharp as the knives on his vehicle, they could probably take me out in seconds. His eyes are hollow and appear to be an eternal void of nothing. And why does he look like me?! Why is his hair perfect?! Why is it better than Carlos'?!

Kevin was awestruck, This is truly a magical moment. Our two worlds meet, it all culminates in a handshake and ends in shared laughter. We both know such a formality wasn't necessary in this time of understanding. And I know sometimes I'm too needy for greetings, but this is truly a historic occasion. Now to my double, he's a bit thinner than I last remember. Oh, and still very dry, not a single stain. I wonder what those things are on his arms, hm they're very odd. But still, not too shabby, other me.

"Arghh! Night Vale, that evil creature broke my hand. It looked as if he wanted a handshake, I could not refuse something so civilized. What kind of beast would break such a necessary formality? Security! Secret police! Carlos! Anyone?"

I just realized something. Kevin thought to himself. This is the perfect time for me to spread the word of the smiling god! Let me just ask my double if he's ok with that, what am I saying? Of course he'll be ok!"

Kevin walks towards the microphone stand. Cecil is gripping the walls trying to find anything to use as a weapon against his intimidating double.

"Oh no you don't! Night Vale, the beast wants to steal my microphone. Ugh, it's even more disgusting up close. I can see his blood stained shoes, oily hands, and he looks appallingly similar to me. He appears to be wearing a name tag too, what does Ķ̵̬̣̱̙͙̜̄͒͆̿͊̊̈́͑͘é̵͙͕̱̪͓̬͓v̴͍͇͔̭̘̖͇͉͌́̆͆̈́í̶̢̢̢͈̣̙͉̼ͅn̵̞̙̭̑́ even mean? Night Vale, cover your ears, the creature is trying to hex you all through the radio. I repeat, Night Vale, cover your ears!"-"Greetings, Night Vale. This is Kevin, from your sister city Desert Bluffs! Today, I'd like to tell you a bit about our smiling god. Keep in mind, this text is all from our Smiling God Bible, so pardon me if I'm a bit rusty, 

Į̸̡̝͕̼̹̤͙̙͍̭͖̤̯̰̎̋͒̊̌̽̃̄̊͘͘͠ņ̶͈̯̘̰͔͍͓̭̰̱̺̱͒͗̿̏̈́̔̀̈́̊͑ ̸̧̢̧̱͔̳̝̦̲̞̱̘̼̮̏͑̉̀̐̽̇̈̇́͆̀̀͑t̴̨̧̟̹͇͓͌̐̈́̋͊͒̇̒̌́̐̀̿̚ͅḩ̴̛̛̜̰͉̻̯͖̭̰̝͈̪̈́̐̇̎̽̎̕͜ẻ̷̞͇̋͗̅͗̃̏̑́͒̄̔̍̚͠ ̷̨̛̤̲̙̖̻̮̰͓͙̰̤̻̠̂̽͑b̸̖̣͇͎͕̯̰͚͕̝͙͇̌̒̾̐ͅe̴̛̱̰̳͖̺̞̞̣̤̙̪̬͊͒̔̎͑̈́̓͌̄͒͝͝ͅg̵͚̼̮̰̜̎͊̑̈̚͜ì̷̬̦̯̠̮̖̼͍̝̥͉̼́͒̀̍͊͝ň̵̛̯̂̈́̏̃̑̏͛͊̓̚n̸̨͚͌̽̉́̏͂̐͑̋͒͂͗̀̚͠i̵̖̥̣̻̞͊̊̈́̓̽͌̐̋́͝ņ̵͇̲̺̬̬͈͓̤͔̰̥͎̀̇͒̂̽͗̈́̿̇̃̊̅͝͠͝g̴͉̲̘̦̦̜̰̫̜̟͕͎͔͇̒̽̔̎͘ẗ̴̹̥̝̝̬̺̱̭̬͍͛͋̐̋̔̓̚h̵̛͉̳̹͚̮̙͙̥͊̔̀͌̊̓̃̆̃͝e̶̢̠͓̾͋̆͐̈̀͛̏͝r̵̨̻̳̩̰̀͌e̴̘̝̝͓̥̩̺̲͊̐̃͜ ̸̡̧̻̤̳͖͔͓̇̿̅͗́̈́̒̿̓͑̋͋̏͘͘ẅ̴̢̛͔̦̘̥̜̆̿̍͝a̵̟̤͐̿͊̏͗͋̓́̀̈́̈́͝s̷̰̞̃ ̴̢̡̣͇̘̬̹̯̪̖͈̫̖̣́a̶̢̡͉̤̭͕̠̣̜̝̫̞͑̓̾̈́̑̇̀̉̉̆́̋̚̕͜͜͠ͅ ̵͖̱̝̰͖͓̭̻̙́͑̇̆ş̸̠̙̺̫̺̍̒̓̒̒̋̍͝ͅm̶̨̜̯̳̹̜͓̞̈́̔͆̈́̈́̓̉̀̿͘͝ì̴̢̛̦̞͖͈̤̬̈́͆̈͗̀̓̑͛̉̚͜͝l̵͔̺̺͙͔̯͇̲̮̖͑̊̈̊̋͗̃͜͠e..."

The reading went on for a torturous half hour, Cecil was pointlessly trying to cover his ears. He tried his hardest to resist, It's like screeching but it makes sense for some reason, argh why won't it stop? Why can't I just be productive and stop him? Why can't I just smile and wait it out? Why can't I just smile and be productive for our smiling god?

Smile, smile, smile, all hail our glorious smiling god. You need to be productive, don't you? All productivity is meaningless without a god, now beam, grin, be all smiles!

No, shut up! Cecil could feel his facial muscles giving way, like the children going up in flames, his face was melting almost, melting into a smile. Melting so much, that at the moment, all he could do was smile. It felt like thousands of voices were screaming. It felt like their thousands of hands were stretching his face, revealing his perfect teeth.

No, only the smiling god has perfect teeth. Make that frown go upside down, make that frown disappear, maybe even kill the frown! Do it! Kill the frown! Kill that imperfect reflection f*ck that's you! Kill your reflection! Kill it!

Kevin was still merrily reading out the Smiling God Bible, when the sheriff's secret police burst in. "I'm afraid that's all I can read tonight, Night Vale." Kevin sighed. "I'd like to thank you for your hospitality. Oh, and it appears there are some new arrivals in the studio, let me say hi to them. Until we meet again, Night Vale, until we meet again."

As Kevin passed the secret police's dead bodies, he gave one last horrifying grin to Cecil. 

Grabbing his freshly stained microphone, Cecil got back up. Still trying to wipe off the smile from his face, Cecil returned to the microphone.

"I'm relieved to announce, Night Vale, that the beast has left town. I also hope that thing is listening to our broadcast now because I'd like to say something to Ķ̵̬̣̱̙͙̜̄͒͆̿͊̊̈́͑͘é̵͙͕̱̪͓̬͓v̴͍͇͔̭̘̖͇͉͌́̆͆̈́í̶̢̢̢͈̣̙͉̼ͅn̵̞̙̭̑́. All hail our glorious Glow Cloud, you smiling p*ss head. Now that the danger has passed, as always, the weather."

Journey Log 6: "Overall, Desert Bluffs, my trip to Night Vale was wonderful. I give it 10 smiles out of 10. Even though Night Vale is an odd town, I'd still like to visit again. You may be thinking, "Kevin why would you ever visit that odd place." Just give me a chance, I got to learn my double's name, Cecil! A very interesting name indeed. What sealed the deal for my return was this beautiful thank you message I received from Cecil on the radio! It says, "All hail our glorious smiling god, you preacher." A preacher, I know! As a radio host dedicated to spreading word of our smiling god, this is the highest of compliments. All that's left for me to say is, until we meet again Desert Bluffs."