The Shy Boy Ben

Chapter One.

This chapter is dedicated to Segunda because I love her books so friggen much.

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Hello, I'm Ben.

I know you're probably thinking, I did this whole pushing thing. But I didn't.

It wasn't me.

If it was me, I'd feel guilty right now, admitting everything to you.

I'm not like them other people, to be honest I have no clue who did it.

Sam and Alex didn't because they walked home with me.

I laid on my bed, Thinking the night over and over,  I switched on my Ipod listening to Goo Goo Dolls - Slide. They were my favourite band no matter how old their music was, the words spoke to me. I kept thinking about Jennifer when I'd kissed her last month then she had texted me and told me it meant nothing and not to tell anyone because she already had a boyfriend.

I'd not felt that special since that night when she'd kissed me, I loved her so much, I kind of watched her walk past my window to school every morning. We texted each other a lot, she was basically the only girl I had as a friend and she was like my bestfriend, for someone to think that I'd pushed her into the river made me feel like punhcing a wall, I would never do that to Jennifer, ever, even if she did reject me.

I was sixteen and I looked like an essex boy, I had tanned skin and sandy brown eyes, and my hair was a wild dark brown, I'm going to sound like a freak but, I love nature and listening to music, I'm always in forests and woods, even in the rain, the world looks so much more beautiful in the rain.

I was called 'The bush boy' or 'Shy Boy Ben' and sometimes even 'Nitty Guy' at school, I only had a few friends at school, Max and Jennifer maybe Alex and Sam. The rest were just people who were nice to me because they felt sorry for me. I was bullied a lot, some people thought I was weird, some thought I had nits or some kind of bug infection because I was out in forests all the time. But that's not the end of it, I am bisexual.

I've never really thought people were so cruel, I haven't told you about being called 'Bisexual Ben' have I? It bugs me so much that people can't think about how It would affect me when they called me that, no one cared.

I was an outsider. Invisible to the crowd. Well, unless some slut wants me to do something for them like homework or a project, then they'd suduce me when I'm alone, I always fall for it. But they've stopped doing it now after what happened with Bernie's project. I'd wired it to blow up in class and the whole room set on fire. Bernie was expelled from school and she hated me and so did her boyfriend, I called him 'the machine' his name was Paul and he was a sporty guy, did everything, from football to ping pong.

And basically Bernie blamed it all on me on top of telling him I went onto her, when she clearly seduced me in the cleaners closet? So he beat me up, Broke two of my ribs and my leg. I was in hospital for a month. But luckily he's moved school now to where Bernie went, but that didn't stop all of his friends tormenting me. They loved to throw food at me at lunch, or nick my towel while I was showering so I'd had to walk naked to my locker in the boys changing room. Or when I talked to a pretty girl they'd go past me and shout horrible things at me, It'd always scare away the girls, I had no chances with boys either, most of them except Max stayed away from me because they didn't want to be called gay.

Max was gay though, we'd told each other in middle school at the same time. I'd loved him so much, but he said he didn't want to be with me because he didn't want to ruin our friendship even though he loved me too. Whenever someone said anything about Max being gay I felt really angry and I wanted to punch them in the face, but I never did. Even though I had the muscles too.

I don't know why I'm telling you all this.

I tried calling Anna a few times today, she didn't pick up. Then I texted her.

Anna answer the phone I need to talk to you.

She didn't answer, she'd been the first one to leave last night and I needed to talk to someone about Jennifer and me. But, I had a feeling she was ignoring me, I think she might think I killed Jennifer, If she was dead. That's when it hit me, Try texting Jennifer. I picked up my phone.

Jennifer, where are you? What happened last night? Answer me please.

I was really missing her, If she was dead I could never tell her how I felt. My phone buzzed, I jumped, it scared me bringing me out of my thoughts, I started getting excited due to the thought of it being Jennifer, then I checked and it was Sam.

Hey, It's Sam. Just been interviewed by the police, they think it's you!

I laid there shocked, were they going to get me too? Put me in prison for something I didn't do?

What? Did you tell them It couldn't have been me because I walked home with you?

I was on the verge of tears, I'd always been such a sensetive guy.

Yeah mate, but the didn't seem to believe me, Alex texted me saying he's been for one too and he's said the same as me, Everyone in town thinks you killed her?

I started to cry after reading his text, I was so angry I kicked the wall with my foot. No, I didn't kill her why did everyone think I did?! I grabbed my phone and angrily tapped away on the touch screen, My music had changed ages ago to a bunch of Green Day songs.

I didn't do it! Explains why Annie won't text me back. I bet she's been in. >:( 

He didn't text back after that, I ended up falling asleep,with nothing but the thought of Jennifer laying dead somewhere in a river...