Alone In The Rain

Chapter one: Allison Caesa

Veronica

It was midnight when a loud bang echoed outside my room.

Here we go again, I thought.

I knew what it was, or rather, who it was. My father. I was certain he'd had too much to drink again.

Ever since my mom left us, he's been drowning his sorrows in alcohol. He manages to hide it well during the day, especially when I'm around, aware that I might see him. But he doesn't realize that I can hear him every night. I know what he's up to.

Dad still hasn't come to terms with mom's passing. He carries that pain in his heart, even now. It breaks my heart to see him like this. I can't bear to see him cry night after night, tormented by the things he didn't do.

His cries wound me too. I've been pretending everything's fine, not wanting to add to his worries. But I don't think I can keep up this act any longer. I can't just stand by and listen as he hurts. I need to be there for him, for my dad. I want him to know he's not alone, because I'm here for him.

With a heavy sigh, I climbed out of my bed.

"...I am really sorry, Monica, for everything I've done to you and to our daughter..." His voice trembled, choked with tears. He was calling my mom's name, over and over.

I slowly made my way towards him. He was sitting on the kitchen floor, hugging his knees, his beer still in his hand.

"...I wasn't a good husband to you, but you still chose me. I wasn't a good father to Veronica either..." His sobs echoed in the room, the pain in his words palpable. How had I managed to bear this for so many weeks?

No, you're wrong, Dad. You're the best father ever and I can prove that to everyone.

"I was just thinking about my invention...and myself... I'm really sorry..." I hadn't noticed that he was clutching my mom's picture until he uncurled from his knees.

I was about to approach him when he suddenly paused. Perhaps he sensed my presence.

His gaze found mine and we locked eyes. I saw a misery in his face that I'd never seen before, and I was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to comfort him.

"...Roni.." He said my nickname, slowly getting to his feet. He tried to compose himself, hastily wiping his tears and placing the beer in the sink.
"Why are you...." His sentence was cut short as I couldn't resist the urge to hug him any longer.

I rushed to him and wrapped my arms around him tightly, pouring all my strength into the embrace to let him know he wasn't alone.

I knew he didn't want me to see him like this, and honestly, I didn't want to either. I hated seeing him cry and blaming himself.

"I love you, Dad." Those were the only words that seemed to want to escape my lips, as tears streamed down my face freely.

I wanted him to know that I was always there for him, no matter what. That I would never leave him.

"I love you too, baby," he said, making me smile. The way he rubbed my back with his hand only made me want to cry even more.

"I'm always here for you, Dad. Even though Mom isn't with us anymore, we know she's still watching over us." My voice broke with a sob, my face buried in my father's broad chest.

"I know." He kissed my hair and continued to rub my back with his hand. "I know that, baby." His voice was thick with emotion. He hugged me tightly, as if afraid to lose me, and I hugged him back.

"S-so please, don't blame yourself, Dad." I felt him stiffen, so I tightened my embrace. "It hurts me so much."

He loosened his hold on me, which made me look up at him. He grabbed my shoulders, looking at me with a concerned expression.