Fix me.

Chapter 10.

I sigh. Looking out at the long distant sea for the last time here caused my heart to ache. I knew what I had to do, and it had to be done now. I pick up my jacket and put my strappy top on. I walked towards the town, my shorts already on. Soon enough the warm sand left the soles of my feet and it was replaced with warm concrete instead. I placed my flip flops on my feet and started to walk home. Half way home, I spotted a small holiday shop. I walked in. I seemed to be the only one in here, and with the money I had on me I decided to get some small things.  “Hola señor” I nod at the shop keeper as I walk in and out of the isles. Many things caught my attention and many things reminded me of back home. Like a mug similar to the one my dad used to use that I bought him when I was 14. A belt that was similar to the one my brother bought and got signed by Nicole Scherzinger. And then something sparkled in the corner of my eye. I turned around, and saw a small necklace, exactly like the one my Mother used to wear up until she died. Dad hasn’t found it. No one can. We’ve looked everywhere. I shake the thought out of my head. It’s been 3 months since I last saw Dad, Callum… and George. My Spanish has grown over the course of the past 3 months and I’ve just gotten worse.

My addiction to drugs has become a day to day thing, maybe every two days unless I turn desperate. My lips touch alcohol atleast 3 times a week, maybe less and I smoke every day, both weed and normal cigarettes. I have bags under my eyes and I could say I’ve lost abit of weight but that would be an understatement. In general I just look a mess, but with my endless tan and with a touch up of make-up and sunglasses with freshly washed hair I look like a star.

I smile at the 4 souvenirs places before me on the shelf. They were perfect. I walked up to the counter and smiled, placing them on the flat surface. “buena elección”  he nods his head. “gracias” I smile back at him. “para su familia?” he asks, wrapping them up in some tissue paper and putting them in a paper bag, like you get at Primark back home. “se podría decir que” I shrug. I hand him over the money needed and walked out of the shop, not waiting for the 4 euro’s I would be getting as change.  I smiled as I walked down the many streets of El Raval before finally stumbling upon a park. I decided to have a little break, not bother about going home to face him. I couldn’t. Not yet.

Things have gone so downhill over these last 3 months. I hardly sleep with everything Jacks wants to do. He constantly wants to have sex and when he comes home drunk he forces me into it. He is constantly taking me out to parties, telling me I have to look pretty and make sure I don’t pronounce a single Spanish word wrong. It’s okay for him, he’s fluent as his Grandmother was from Spain until she moved to England. I had to learn from the little experience I had in school to pass my GCSE. I pull my glasses off my head and put them over my eyes to shield myself from the sun.

I sit myself down on the grass and lean against the tree that was behind me. Everything seemed to have gone so fast. Leaving home, George… The UK. I rustled around in my bag and bought out my purse. Taking out a crumpled piece of paper I opened it up and read it. George’s neat handwriting was across the paper, his name and number on it. Then underneath that he had wrote ‘~I Love You’ I smile at the last memory we had together. We had kissed. His plump lips on my own. I miss that. I miss Him.

Finally, I believe it is time to leave to get home. I’m sure Jack is worrying about me. I’m never normally out this late. It’s about half 5 in the evening. I left the beach at 3:45 hoping to be back by 4:15. Where has the time gone?

***

I sit on my suitcase to zip it up, just like I did the day we left the UK to come here. “Tia, please don’t leave baby” Jack cries, moving over to me and placing his hands on my waist. He had a little too much to drink and the smell of it was making me crave, but I needed a safe journey home. I shoved him off and made him fall backwards. He had tears streaming down his face along with a now fresh cut from where he banged his head on the bed side table.

I place my suitcase by the door, two small plane bags next to it. “You bitch” He stands up and runs over to me. He shoved me up against the wall and hit me in the stomach before slapping me. He let me fall to the fall in pain before he started to kick me over and over again. Soon enough my screams intrigued the others and they came rushing up. Ben, Cain and Flynn. They ran in the room, Cain and Ben taking Jack away whilst Flynn helped me up. He gave me a kiss on the forehead. “run” he whispers, handing me my bags and letting me run for the taxi that was waiting outside for me.

“Gracias” I hand the cab driver over some euros and step out of the car. It wasn’t until I saw my reflection in the car window when it shut that I realised I looked a mess. I had cuts on my forehead, a black eye and a bruised cheek bone. There was bruises and scratch marks on my shoulders. I lifted my up top slightly to reveal many more bruises and scratches there. I could feel a tear slip down my face as I get my bags off the sidewalk and make my way into the airport. Just after I bought my ticket, I needed to wait about half an hour before my flight.

I picked my phone up out of my pocket and dialled the number I wanted. I could feel myself crying more and more as I placed the phone to my ear and ear it ringing at the other end. I turned into a complete tear strained mess. Soon enough I heard that angelic voice down the phone. “Hello?” he asks.

“George…. I need you to Fix Me” I cry, completely breakdown.

For those of you who do NOT speak spanish; here is the english version of Tia and the shop keepers conversation from earlier;

I smile at the 4 souvenirs places before me on the shelf. They were perfect. I walked up to the counter and smiled, placing them on the flat surface. “Good Choice”  he nods his head. “Thanks” I smile back at him. “For your family?” he asks, wrapping them up in some tissue paper and putting them in a paper bag, like you get at Primark back home. “One could say that” I shrug. I hand him over the money needed and walked out of the shop, not waiting for the 4 euro’s I would be getting as change.  I smiled as I walked down the many streets of El Raval before finally stumbling upon a park. I decided to have a little break, not bother about going home to face him. I couldn’t. Not yet.