Winter Heartache (Fanfic)

Low Esteem Pains

Delilah's POV

(Pic Above)

5th December 2014
"Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?" -Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Today my world fell apart.

Everything that had happened over the past few months had collapsed in a blink of an eye. My world had crumbled right in front of me. I lost a battle which I never agreed to fight in the first place; I broke down; fell into pieces. My life was a lie, a desperate search for support, all of which I got none. I carried out a life filled with empty promises, broken dreams and hopeless lies. I resorted to wearing a crumbling mask, to protect my fragile core - to hide my insecurities and imperfections. I concealed my pain for so long - wiping my tears quickly enough for them to go unnoticed. The truth was that I was afraid to be a burden for others; I feared to be a person who done nothing but moan and complain - I resorted to dwelling in shadows to avoid causing such an illusion.

Tears left a trail upon my delicate skin as I cried that night. Each teardrop engraved yet another scar - the truth had crushed my insides, leaving me breathless and alone. No one was able to help me. The saddest part, was that I had to put up with another day, shielding my suffering inside. I came home devastated. And yet I could openly admit that I had brought this upon myself. It was still my fault - all of it.

Look at me and my petty life; I have nothing left give. An ignorant soul, pathetic in its existence - a cold hearted monster dwelling inside others misfortunes. I caused grief to others just so that I could take away my own pain. An emotionless nightmare, full of my biggest fears... I gave up.

It feels as if the life which once brought me joy was now forcing me into a darkening corner, a dead end. I lingered, like a shadow - I forced myself to feel alive, yet the light was getting dimmer with every passing day.

At times I was certain that despair would seep through my sleeves as my disconsolate heart reverted to depression. My heart was left yearning for death; I lost my only cure. If you looked closely, you would have seen a battle inside of me - yet you chose to see only half of my story. You left me breaking.

The smile upon my face was only a defense, to block out the enemy's hate. Could he not see that the light in my eyes was gone? My desire to try has ended, and I'm slowly faltering before myself. I entered the washroom to find my sharp paintbrush, and leave behind scars. After I left some on my wrists, I bandaged up my arm and walked to my room to cry myself a lullaby.

6th December 2014

I woke up to the screeching of my alarm, and went towards my closet to find my ripped leggings, tanktop, and my Peirce the Veil sweatshirt. School was today, and I knew bad things would comen I pulled all of my clothes on and grabbed my black Converse to put them on. I grabbed my books and shoved them in my backpack to run out o my house. I started walking up my street towards my high school, awaiting all of the painfull words people would say. I bet my ex, Brandon would have spread rumours about our breakup that left me even more wrecked than I needed to be. Im already suffering though my depression. As I walked in, the words already started as I heard shushed voices of the breakup. Then out of no where, I heard someone yell "Stop" Iturned around to find Ashton Irwin, a popular boy, looking at all the pople who mocked me. "Leave this beautiful girl alone!" He shouted and walked towards me. "Ru okay? He asked. "I guess. U didn't have to stand up for me." I looked at him. "Yes I do. They are one of tthe rreasons why u have scars, love" he looked at me and started to play withmy ice white hair. I was shocked. How did he know I have scars beneath these sleaves? I stared at him and I started to walk away from Ashton. I bet this is just all a stupid lie, cause their is no way he is going to fix this broken soul. "Your going to be like the others anyways, so why do you care?" I asked him. "Just trust me Delli, give me 10 days to find 10 reasons why u should stop hurting yourself. Trust me Skinny Love. If I fail, you can ignore me and continue to leave scars on yourself, alright?" He pulled out his hand. "Deal, pretty boy" I sealed the agreement with a handshake.

Ash's POV

She shook my hand and I could see bruises. She looked at me and I stared back into her hypnotyzing green eyes. You could see all of the damage that has been done. She's beautiful and she's blind to it. I wish she could see herself as that again. "Goodbye," I kissed her cheek and left her looking surprised. I really like this broken doll. I walked towards her locker and put on a note, which she might crumple up till she can follow through with the promise.