Angelic ★Manthony★

❤️ : One

T/W: self destructive behavior and eating disorders. I also made a fan fiction trailer for this so I'll put it above!

~Christian~

"Christian are you ready to go?" Jesse popped his head into my room.

"Yeah hold on," I sighed and finished brushing my hair. I stood up and grabbed my purse, smoothing out my sweater. I slid my pastel yellow vans on and followed Jesse out of my room.

I stood in the kitchen of the house sipping on a watered-down drink. I watched as people talked, danced, and even people aggressively kissing.
Jesse and Clinton emerged from the crowd of people.
"Hey Clinton," I smiled and hugged him.

"Hey Kras," he smiled back.

"Here I brought you a plate," Jesse handed me a plate with a cheeseburger and chips on it.
I picked up a chip and shakily ate it.

"Thanks, Jess but I'm not that hungry," I went to set the plate on the counter.

"No you haven't eaten since breakfast you need to eat," Jesse said sternly.

"Okay sorry," I huffed and started eating. I felt more gross and fat as I took every bite. I had to keep my weight down to get to nationals for the pageants.
I finished and set the plate in the sink, "I'm gonna go play dance."

"Okay cool," Jesse smiled waving to me as I disappeared into the crowd. I found the stairs and went up in search of a bathroom. Jesse knew I had issues with my body image. He tried his best to help but he didn't quite understand.
Ever since I entered the pageant world I was almost forced into an eating disorder. If you weren't skinny enough you weren't pretty enough to win. It was already hard being a fem boy in a 'girls' pageant world.
I sniffed as I felt the fullness in my stomach. I pushed open the door to the bathroom then tripped over someone.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" A strong voice asked.

"I uh guess?" I turned over and sat up. I wanted needed to throw up right now. But whoever this guy is, is ruing it.
He lit a cigarette and took a drag, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Smoking...?" He raised an eyebrow and let the smoke blow out.

"You know that's really bad for you," I lectured.

"And you know making yourself throw up is just as bad?" He motioned to the toilet.

"How'd you know..." I looked down.

"If you would've had any other business in here you would've made me leave, found another bathroom, or just thrown up your drink already." He explained.

"Well you don't even know me," I stood up abruptly and grabbed my purse, "Just mind your own business."

With that, I slammed the door and left. I decided I'd walk home and just text Jesse.
I unlocked the front door and went in. I went into the bathroom and shoved two fingers down my throat. I felt the gross warm liquid come out and it was almost a sign of relief.
I sat up and got in the shower. I looked down at my stomach but I was still just so fat.
I couldn't stand what I looked like. I needed to go on a stricter diet before the next pageant season started which means I had a month.