Is this GoodBye ? •Destiel•

A sign

Dean

"-Dean? What are you doing here? Man, how drunk were you, not to recognize your own bedroom... "
Dean mumbled, slowly opening his eyes to meet his little brother's. Sammy looked concerned almost disappointed, upset to see him like this, and Dean felt ashamed so much that he wanted to cover his face with the sheets. He wanted to disappear, last night seemed blurry, he wasn't sure how he got there but he knew why he had slept so well. "I wish I could stay here forever," he thought, if no one had found him he could have had hide here for an eternity waiting for Cas to come back, what if it had been him who had found him...
"- It's almost 3p.m I knocked on your door but when I opened it your room was empty, by the way, what happened there, you got into a fight or something? The place is a wreck" Sam stayed. Then it hit Dean, he remembered the mess he had made and the anger he felt the night before, it made him feel sick. "I don't know man, I got drunk, I guess I made a mess looking for some stuff or something, and I crashed here since, you know, Cas, is..., " Dean paused and continued, lowering his voice, almost whispering like he didn't want to be heard "since he left,". Sam nodded, staring at his brother who was smiling at him, he knew Dean was a mess and he hated to see him like that, but he didn't feel strong enough, well enough to try to talk about it, they both felt so miserable all they had left was each other and to talk about one's sorrow was to bring even more pain to the other, so they just smiled at each other. "You should probably get out of Cas' bed, and grab something you know, I mean where will he sleep when he comes back when you're squatting in his room, hum ?" Sam chuckled, left the room and closed the door; and as he did so Dean quietly replied to him,
"I don't think Cas is coming back.", Dean knew Sam was long gone and hadn't heard him. But he wasn't informing Sam of Cas' departure, he was finally admitting what he feared most... Cas not coming back. And to hear it from his own mouth, it felt like he was shot, he fell back in the bed where he was sitting, and shouted into the pillow. "Keep it straight, stop whining, grow up," he told himself when he was done; he got up walked to the shower, and took a cold shower, desperately trying to wash off his shame, his sins from last night, washing off Cas from his mind. He couldn't. He couldn't think about anything else and mostly he didn't want to, so he started to pray, but no one answered. He got out of the shower, shivering, he was cold, he watched his face in the mirror and quickly looked, for he could not stand his own sight. But then something made him look back at the mirror, the room had suddenly gotten hot as if something warm was surrounding him as he was standing there soaked and shivering, and when he gazed back at his reflection he swore he saw something around some kind of aura all around him. He tried to touch it but it disappeared, he felt a deep pain in his left shoulder, where Cas had touched him for the first time, it was glowing. His green eyes rounded up in confusion before a soft smile appeared on his lips.

You heard me...