Perception {Dreamnotfound}

26 | Lovers Are Liars | 26

If anyone still wants to kill me after last time, I'll leave you with this thought:
To anyone else, whenever Clay and George kiss, it looks to them as if George is making out with thin air.
How nice.
Enjoy. Love ya <3 ~ Owl

~~~

-Clay's POV-

"Sunshine?"

Another silent shake of his head. It's been a few hours since we returned back to our home, and George hasn't spoken to me once, except to apologise. Which I immediately shut down each time.

All he's done is stare out of that same window, in the opposite direction to me. He's sat on the bed that used to be Nick's, knees curled tightly to his chest like Nick does whenever he's scared.

Nick.

He feels so distant, despite the fact it's not been that long since we spoke. Maybe three weeks at best since I died, the day I thought he betrayed me.

I should've known better.

Should've known he wouldn't do that. Nick, my best friend, leave me for Techno suddenly? After all we've been through? Ridiculous, just as ridiculous as me believing it. Maybe George isn't the only one with trust issues.

George.

He doesn't look scared, he looks upset. If he's scared, it's of himself. I've tried to talk to him, and he won't listen. Any time I go near him, he walks away. He won't talk to me, and I refuse to make him.

Realistically, I could make him. Pick him up or pin his wrists to the wall and force him to talk. Other methods include threatening and resorting to violence, but I'd never do that to my friend.

Especially not to him. That would destroy any of the remaining trust he had left in me. It isn't fair, he can't trust people as it is. Not his own soulmate, and not even himself.

I dwell on my use of words. 'Friend'. What is George to me? What am I to him is the better question. To me, he's my soulmate. Not just by some stupid system, but by choice.

I'd like to think I'm the same to him, especially when he kissed me without knowing we were soulmates. Even with the slight chance we weren't, he still kissed me. Because he wanted to.

My eyes subconsciously trail to the boy by the window. My soulmate. If he'll let me be, my boyfriend. I'd want that, but I don't know what he wants anymore.

The guilt is eating him up inside. It's like I can see it, the chains that wrap themselves around him. The things he believes he should suffer through. Thinks he deserves to, after what he did.

He thinks I hate him. No matter how much I try to show him I don't, he thinks I do. He's told me that I can leave him all by himself, he's told me he'll leave if I want him to. I just have to say, and he'll go. He thinks I'm that repulsed by him. That the only reason I hang around him is because he's the only chance I get revived.

Truth is, I've always done everything I do for my soulmate. From the beginning of it all, all I've wanted is them. Nick knew that, and said I was ridiculous. It's normal to obsess over your soulmate, but he told me I was too obsessed. I think his exact words were 'your that cuckoo for them you'll scare them off with your craziness.'

A little hypocritical coming from the guy who ran away without telling their best friend to 'save them'.

Three and a half week I spent in the dark, thinking my best friend had left me for no reason. That he valued the elite assassins over our friendship, over me.