Love Me Cancer

Making A New Friend.

@@@@@@------Riley

A week! It's only been a week.! It felt like a month! This whole 'Stay home where you won't get worst.' Is not working well. I hate this! I want to get out and hang out! I would rather be at work! Sad-face. . .

 ***

I got so bored I started to clean. I was working into fixing my tv stand when I heard a knock at the door. Who could that be?

I opened the door to find Lexi standing and crying her eyes out...

It was weird. Talking heart to heart with Lexi. She told me everything. I learned that kids made fun of her, to her being in a foster home, being scared of everything. I made hot-coco and we ate chicken. 

Lexi wasn't a bad person, she had a lot of dreams. I honored her, she kept everything she just told me hidden. So why tell me? I smiled as she told me the story of her and Zack. "He saved me in all way's possible." She said.

After a good three hour talk about just Lexi she came out. "Do you know why I told you all of this?" She asked.

"No." I answered her question.

She smiled. "'Cause I'm not close to you. I told you everything I've wanted to tell Audrey."

Okay?.. Why didn't she just tell Audrey?

"Umm.. Lexi.. then why did-" 

"Because I can trust you." Lexi placed her hand on my knee. "When you came into the bathroom.. it really helped. 'And I don't want you to move." Lexi smiled. Move? What is she- Oh. Move.. I remember...

I shook my head. "It's not a choice." I closed my eyes. I wish it were a choice.. 

"Yes it is silly. There's always a choice." She gave me a little laugh.

I took a deep breath. "No. Not for me."

Lexi gave me a confused look. "Don't you get it? I want you to stay., even if you're with Connor."

I looked Lexi in the face. "Remember when I told you that I was leaving? Remember when I told you that I didn't want to."

She didn't say anything just nodded her head. I closed my eyes. "The way I see it. You can't have the rainbow unless you get all the rain." I can't trust her. I know I can. "When I leave, everything will go back to normal." Tears were starting in my eyes. I tried to hold them back. "You can go on being, you. You won't have to worry about me..." I couldn't keep the tears held back, they all came rushing out. " You can have Zackary... and the good thing is.. I'll never come back."

Lexi grabbed me. "I don't want you to leave through! You can stay.. I don't want Connor.. I want you to stay.." 

"Lexi.. I'm leaving.. and I'm afraid the time is coming fast." I ran my fingers through my hair. "I wish I could stay.. everyday.. I try so hard not to feel whats happing to me, not to hurt, not to know that every second.. my body's fighting itself, I try so hard to forget.. that I'll be leaving.. everyone that I love and care about.. will wake up to me.. gone, and to know that they won't even know why." Tears, and tears fled down my face. 

Lexi started to cry and looked at me as if she got it.. I nodded my head. "I'm sick."

"I'll take you to the hospital! I'll even pay! I can help, you'll be better!" She blawed, like I did when mother did.. she was crying.. for me.

"I can't get better.. only worst." As the words got out Lexi shook her head saying 'no.. no.. no' 

"You can't.. you have too!" She screamed out "I'll pay.. whatever it takes-" 

"No. I won't take any money, from anyone.." I wiped my tears, how they still flowed. "I have acute leukemia.. which is in my brain.. and even if I did have the money.. I could die just from having the surgery done.." I took another long breath. "I'm too far along.."

"You're young!" Lexi yelled out. "You haven't lived even half of your life! You can't leave! Not now..." Lexi kept shaking her head.. 

"This is the end of my life.." I didn't want to believe it eighter. "I'm afraid the monster.. is too strong for me to fight back.. I tried.. but it only made it mad.." I pulled down my sleeve and showed her the purple and black bruise on my shoulder. "This.. isn't even half of what it can do.." 

Lexi whispered. "Ohmigosh..." She started to breath hard.. as if she were running. "You can't live like this? Why you? Why does God want you.. you're so young.."

"Dying seems less sad than having lived too little.." I gave her a shy smile. "My mom's waiting... I'll be in good hands."

***

 Lexi gave me her word, saying that she wouldn't tell anyone about me.. It's nice to know that I have someone I can talk to., about everything.. I know I shouldn't trust Lexi., but I do...