Love Me Cancer

The Call

%%%%%%%%%%-------------Zack

"Are you sure? All you have to do is say the words, and I promise, I'll be on the next plane to where you're at." 

I heard the laughter of the girl, whom I so care about, through the phone. God I miss her. It's been a month, and I miss her like crazy! "I'm sure. You have fun okay. I'm fine, I've been hanging out with some.. friends. Cassy. Yeah, I've been hanging with Cass." She sounded so.. weak, but I'm sure she's fine. "Just.. Don't. Don't worry about me, okay Zack. Go have fun! I'll see you in another month.." 

I closed my eyes. She sounds so.. upset.. and on top of everything.. she doesn't want me to worry? How could I not? "Riley.. I." .. Love You.

"What?" Her soft voice rung through the phone questioning.

I took a breath. "I miss you.. heck I missed you when I was four steps away from you, more less 79 hours away, I haven't seen you in a month! I miss your face. I miss you in my arms.. and I can't help but to worry.."

I heard sobs.. was Riley crying? "Zachary. I miss you too." There was a long pause. Still hearing her voice choke up, trying to hold back the tears. "Just.. forget about me.." She let them go.. I could hear her voice shaking. "Everything will go back to normal. It has to for you..." 

"What are you-"

"I'm sorry... but.. I don't want to hurt you. I wish we could be together.. but.." No. No. No. No. No.. she can't be doing this.. "I don't want to.. do this!" She took a deep breath. "I.. care.. way to much about you.."

"I care about you too! Why are you saying this? We were just fine a minute ago? Now you're.. saying.. this as if you're going to..." 

"I had a plan!.. I was.. going to.. call you., and.. it wasn't going to hurt.." Another long pause. "Listen.. Zack.. I.. I..you..   you can do.. so much better.. this. This will soon be a memory in which you.. you won't care about.. you'll soon forget about all of this.. about.. this summer, about our walks.. about our kisses,.. about.. our time together in-all.. you'll forget abou....about...m...mm" No... I closed my else.. how can I forget? 

"I can't.. Riley." I took a breath, holding back what little life I had left in me. She can't do this. I won't let her.. "Riley... you don't have to do thi-"

"YES I DO!" She screamed. "You.. you don't get it!" Riley whispered. "Every-time.. every-time I see you, feel you, hear you, think of you.. being hurt.. makes me hate myself.. because.. it's all my fault.." She took a couple breaths whimpering, if I were there.. I could change her mind.. but.. I'm not.. so I just closed my eyes, and layed on my bed.. "I know this is hurting you.. because it's killing me!.. and.. that's it., It's killing me.." She huft out a laugh with crying with it. "You don't even know what I'm talking about... none of you do... but.. Zack.. if I do this now.. maybe.. I pray, that you won't care.. when it happens.. I hope that it won't even false you.. please.. please.. don't.. care.. forget.. because if you don't.. you'll end up worst.." As she hung up..

I layed in my bed for the rest of the night., thinking about everything. Can this get worse, this feeling?.. Riley said if I still cared.. if I keep on caring.. then it'll get worse.. but.. I don't think this can...

@@@@@@--------Riley.

Six days. Six. I've been crying.. over something that I, myself let happen. I took a breath. I knew it had to be done.. It was either now, or later. Hey! Why should he hurt.. and I not. I should hurt.. I should feel pain in all ways possible.. in fact.. I think I am.

"So. You, really done it.. You broke it off." 

And for a second. One freaking second I stopped crying!, Just to cry more.. I couldn't even talk.. so I just nodded my head.