The girl who lived

Before you start reading this book there's two things that you should know about me and they are:

1. I am a fifteen year old girl,therefore I have no knowledge in no type of medicine. I'm not a a doctor I just did some research on this topic and the information in here might not be 100% accurate though I try my best.

2. My mother language is not English so there might be some spelling errors if you notice them please tell me.

Chapter one:

It's 5:45 am. Usually by this time I'm just waking up. But I'm already up and I have finished doing everything I'm supposed to do. Why am I up? I don't know a bad dream maybe, I can't remember.

I'm sitting in front of my laptop browsing through countless of pages of fan blogs from my favorite books. The book geeks are going crazy, yesterday the cover and the release date for a book from one of my favorite authors was reviled. I haven't seen the release date yet. Yesterday I was so tired when I came home from school that the only thing I did was to take a shower and go to bed.

I'm watching the cover though. It's an amazig cover. Fans have already made there assumptions of what the book is going to be about and I agree. I open another tab to search for the release date: 8 months and 6 days to go. "That's to much time!" , I think out loud. I turn my face away from the computer and my eyes meet my reflection on the make up mirror on top of my desk. Sad and dissapointed. Through the mirror I can see my little sister standing in the door frame. "To much time for what?" , she says. I spin my chair, "For nothing". She looks at me with confussion wich forces me to answer "the realese date for the book I've been talking about". "Oh", she answers.

There's a moment of silence, I stare at my sister. I'm jealous. She has long beautiful brunnettte hair, straight at the top with small curls at the ends. Eyes so blue you can almost see trough them. Tan skin so perfect with no sign of acne. Averege height 5'6? I can't remember is not something we talk about often. She is sixteen years old.

I'm nothing like her. With un-even blond hair that is growing back after it all fell off because of quimio. And that now has some sword of pixie look to it. Dark blue eyes, pale skin with the occasionaly pimle. Taller then averege 5'8. I'm seventeen years old.

"What do you want", I finally say. "Huh?", she was lost in thought. "Why are you here?" I repeted myself. "Oh, can you give me one of your hodies?", she says. "Is almost summer" , I replaid. "I know but..." , she said. "But wh-" I 'don't finsh the sentence,I'm not in the mood for fithing. "Take whatever", I tell her. "Thank you" , she says as she takes a pink one and leaves.

+ + +

I walked outside of my room to go eat some breakfeast I meet my sister at the stairs. We walked down in silence. In the kitchen my mom glances at me and says."Good morning sunshine!" , refering to me and me only. My sister steps from behind me and walks past me. "Good morning swetie" , mom says to Anne, trying to cover the fact that she didn't notice her before. "Good morning!" , we say in a chours taking our food and sitting in the table.

I feel sorry for my sister. Ever since I got dignosed with Leukimia is like she does not even exist. Leukimia is type of cancer that sorts in the blood forming tissue, such as the bone marrow,and causes large numbers of abnormal blood cells to be produced and enter the bloodstream. So basically I was a blood mess. Because I've been on remission for six months now.

I should feel sorry for myself , the fact that I used to have a condition that was ending with my life slowly is pretty sad. But God gives every person a challenge in life a difficulty a cross. And having to deal with cancer is mine and it should be mine only. And my sister does not have to suffer or deal with the side effects of my having (used to have) cancer. And yes, for me cancer haves side effects, not medical side effects or something like that, but 'personal' side effects and two people can suffer from them. They are: people with cancer and the people around that person (family,friends etc).

Side effects of cancer (people with cancer)

Good ones:

1. gift baskests

2.pitty

Bad ones:

1.pitty

2. Too much attention

3.people think your depressed (is like an obligation to be depressed if you have cancer)

The bad side effects of cancer for people with cancer are worse and more then the good side effects, but I guess that is just another bad side effect

Side effects of cancer (family, friends etc)

Good ones:

1.Lack of attention

Bad ones:

1. Untreated depression (some casses)

2.Lack of attention

So I guess lack of attention is both good and bad such as pitty, but,because is not good to have to much of a thing. It depends on the need. And I guess as well there's something good in every bad thing and something bad in every good thing. When you get drunked ('something good') you also get uncunssioness ( something bad) and there's when the ying-yang kicks in. Although no good came from me having cancer.

My sister sits on the table eating a dish with french toast. Wearing a floral skirt with a white shirt and the pink hoodie she asked me for. I want to tell her how sorry I am , that is never my intenttion to still the attention away from her. But I tell her something completly different. "You are such a hipster", are the words that came out of my mouth. She laughs stands up and puts her dish in the sink and heads for the door. I do the same. We join mom in the car and leave for school.