The girl who lived

Chapter four:

In the car nobody spoke we just cried and sob and my mother kept repeating "it's gonna be okay everything will be fine".

When we got home I still didn't felt like talking so I closed my self in my room. I laid on my bed and hugged my pillow. And in a moment with out me really noticing I screamed into it as hard as I could when I let go of it it was wet with my tears.

I looked to my right and my iPod was connected to the speakers on top of my desk. I took it an as I browse through my playlist I notice I had a very varied taste in music so I smiled a little. I notice the song "photograph" by the 1975 and I played it. I went trough my desk and found some albums from my childhood and some recent ones.

While listening to the song and seeing the albums I noticed something. I used to be happy. Every picture is filled with smiles, goofy moments and just pure happiness. Every photograph from the older ones to the most recent ones (from two years ago) is filled with happiness.

This memories that are made of me and that I'm made of them. This smiles, this moments that are also made of me and I'm also made of them. All of this events are what made me who I am today even my sickness.

I'm watching now some of the most recent photos, the song is ending and it says:

'I have the photo album spread out in my bedroom floor. It's hard to say it, but it's time to say it goodbye, goodbye'

And this is when I know. This is when I realize that I'm ready, it's gonna hurt, but it's time to say it and I know my mom might be right and everything will be fine.

I lay on my back on the floor next to the album with a picture of my family in my chest close to my heart. I close my eyes and I start crying again a gentle cry. Not because I was sad but because I knew everything was gonna be alright and so I whisper to myself and to the photo in my heart "goodbye" and the song ends and I fall asleep with it.

*****
When I wake up my iPod is playing a song I didn't even remembered I had so I stop it. I put the photo I was holding back in the album and put the album in its place I go downstairs and my family is all sitting in the kitchen table eating they all have sad faces; they've been crying more. When they see me they sight not knowing what to say and my father goes "Lindsay" softly and I smile to his surprise. I go and hug him and I also hug my mother and then when I let go I put my hands in my sisters shoulders and look at my parents and I say to my mom, "you are right everything is going to be okay".

And for the first time I feel like I'm not lying not to me and not to my family because for the first time I'm sure is going to be okay.