here we go. i feel lost again. my mind is a mess. ugh. i feel so numb but at the same emotional. it's so hard to explain. ana is still haunting me. today i had just little lunch and 2 snacks. one side of me wants to loose weight and starve so bad, but the other one wants to eat, be healthy and not ashamed of my look. also i'm always thinking about the memories i have with people who aren't my friends anymore and it makes me so sad, because i know that that memories won't happen ever again and that i won't be happy. i don't deserve happiness.
