Into the Unknown

Martin

"What do you mean you visited her?" I yell into the cell phone. Well, actually to my mother, but there's not much difference between the feelings of a cell phone and a heartless mother.

"I did what I thought was best. I mean, her husband was one of my former best friends; the least I could do is give her my condolences."

"And did she take them?" I say harshly.

"Not in the slightest but I believe it's an improvement from how it was years ago. The quarreling between her and I has certainly dissipated, or at least calmed a little. You should know this, son."

"'Calmed?' Mom, there's nothing remotely calm about this! You know she hates you to pieces. Ever since you and James were "business partners" or whatever, Shannon has had a horrible streak of reminding me and everyone else in this town just how horrible you are." In my mind, I was starting to trail off, thinking of all the times Shannon would gossip about my mom, saying things about her, such as that she's a liar, a deceitful person, and does anything she can to get her way. Somehow, each of those remarks are true, no matter what the subject is. My mother has never been a truly generous or loving person, nor would she ever want to try and fix an issue or dispute between her and another individual. That's practically unheard of.

There's been silence for about a minute or two. I don't even hear the sound of my mother's breathing through the phone. I know she is still there, but at the same time it feels void, like I'm on speaker phone talking to the air on the other side of the line. A stress headache begins to form on the front left side of my head and immediately I know I'm going to be confined to my couch drinking beers all evening regretting what my mother has gotten herself into. Of course, when I'm not there at the hospital or at her lab to observe her and see what she's up to, that's when she decides to pour fuel into the already raging fire of Shannon's hate for her, as well as her hate for me. But I'm the innocent one in this feud, so why would she blame me for something that I was never remotely a part of?

"Well, honey, I have to go. They're calling me to come back to the lab. Apparently there has been a breach in the Hybrid Immunizations Laboratory."

"Yeah. That's fine. Just go." I make sure to make long pauses in between my sentences. Without even realizing it, the welling of tears starts forming, but I wipe them away.

From through the phone, I hear her rev the engine of her car. "I'll be sure to call you when I can, I promise."

Yeah, like that is ever going to happen, I think to myself as I roll my eyes and hang up without saying another word to her. The last time my very cold and distant mother told me that, she didn't get in contact with me for four months. Four months. It's utterly ridiculous. She claimed she got "too focused on her work". Yeah, it's quite the excuse, I know that for sure. If you're willing and able to neglect your son for their whole life, what's the point in even having the child? She was already so dedicated to her work that it was her life more than I would ever be to her. The work she has studied and practiced for years has always been more of a biological child to her than I have been. I'm like the foreign-exchange student that doesn't speak the same language as you, doesn't know who you are, but wants to nudge their way into your family and become a part of something that they had never had before. Once again though, it's how people say they are "chasing the wind." All I have ever wanted in life was to be accepted by my mother and be treated with respect and love, both of which I hardly ever received. Most days I would walk the four miles to my house from school alone, even when I was only in kindergarten. All throughout elementary, middle, and most of high school, until I got my driver's license, I was dependent on myself, but even with all the freedom, the only true thing I wanted was a family. Sure, my mother was paying the power and water bills and "supporting" me financially, but that's not the same being there for your child. Instead of homemade delicious dinners, I ate TV microwavable dinners that tasted like cardboard. I never had anyone to help me with my homework, no one to teach me how to read. Everything throughout my childhood I had to do completely on my own. The one thing I would never wish for my own future children is that. No child should ever be burdened knowing that their family doesn't love them. 

Even though it's mid-afternoon, I choose to close the shop early, partly because there hasn't been any customers for a couple hours and there are no appointments scheduled for later today, but also because my headache has gotten a lot worse and I don't think I can handle it for much longer. Driving home is going to be difficult, as I'm noticing that I am already getting sensitive to light. 

"Guess I'll be alone in the dark, tonight," I say through the echoing of the shop. Looking around, I feel the loneliness that surrounds itself in this building. What I thought would become a busy, bustling business has bubbled down to this barely simmering struggle that I try so hard to keep alive. Without my repair shop though, Princelan will be left without one. What would the people of this town do then?