I'm Inlove With My Stalker || JenLisa

CHAPTER 39 - APOLOGIZE

Jennie's POV:

Make them all suffer.

That was my plan when I came back. I want them to feel and experience all the things they did to me. The feeling that being bullied by all of them, the feeling that you are alone in this world, the feeling that you don't have anyone or friends in your life, the feeling of no one cares about you and no one loves you.

I thought that is really I want...

I thought that is really the reason why did I came back...

But I realized that I was just fooling myself. I realized deep down in my heart that I want other else,

To accept all...

That is the reason why did I came back. I wanted to feel the sense of belongingness and acceptance. I want to admit to myself that I also have rights to be loved by someone else... that someone can love me even they didn't gave me the love I wanted.

I just smiled bitterly.

I just want to earn their love and to accept me.

I thought I already changed, I thought I don't need them to my life, I thought they have no value to me... but it was just all my thoughts.

I am still the naive and stupid Jennie, I'm still the Jennie that craves for their affection. I'm still the Jennie that is hoping to get their love and attention.

It's still me... nothing's changed.

But this is the right time to stop what I did. This is the right time to make right all the wrong things that I've done. This is the right time to give up, to accept that they will never accept me.

With a long heavy sigh, I clicked 'send'.

I looked at the mirror and smiled. Just wait Jennie, you will start over again. You will be happy now.

I stand up and looked around. I'll miss my room that's for sure. I also have many good memories here.

I get my bag and go to the door and before I closed the door I wander again my gaze to my room. I think I don't forget something. After that I closed the door.

I go to the kitchen and sit down. In the table, there were many foods.

My eyes are looking for yaya. I saw her looking at me, I smiled at her.

Yaya is the one who gave me love and care. She is the one who bacame my family here inside the house. She gave me the love and care that my parents cannot give to me. I will not forget her, and I will always thank God because he gave me someone like yaya.

"Looks like you cook some delicious foods yaya? Thank you." I said to her while smiling. "I will miss your dishes." I whispered.

I ate the foods and I almost eat all the foods that yaya cooked.

Before I leave the house, I hugged yaya making her shocked.

"Yaya can I hug you? Thank you for everything, I really love you." I said while hugging her.

"What is happening to you? Do you have a problem?" She asked with concern.

I smiled. She still doesn't change at all, she is still a loving person.

"Forgive me yaya, I became a bad person. You didn't lack at advising, but at the end I just ignored all what you told to me. Forgive yaya." I said.

Yaya raised me with full of love and advices, she raised me with fear in the Lord. She didn't lack at anything, that's why right now I feel like... I disappointed her. Her only wish for me is just to be a nice person, simple person but... I didn't do it.