You Like Her Better (Staig)

Chapter Seven

Craig
After a moment I'm back to my regular composure. No. I'm not going to explode on this guy. I'll just find his suffering humorous.
"What?" I ask
"How could you get back with that... that.... spaz!" He exclaims, a crowd begins to form.
"I don't see why it's your business." I shrug and go to walk away. He grabs my shoulder and pulls me around, flipping his hand around and using that same one to push me against the locker. He looks pissed, but I'm not showing a thing. I think that's pissing him off even more. I'm loving this.
"You know why it's my business." He's biting his tongue. He knows Wendy might be in that crowd, and if she isn't. Her friends definitely are. I can feel my heart twisting and tearing at every seam it may have. Every healed wound it has, reopened. This is what he does to me.
"Oh really. Well if I know why it's your business you wouldn't mind sharing with the class." I point out the crowd that's just watching us. Enjoying the show.
"Fuckin asshole." He sighs looking down.
"Oh. I'm an asshole, am I?" I glare "I'm not the one who slammed a locker in your face and started screaming."
"I just asked a question. How fucking could you?" He asks
"I like him. Stan." I can see his pupils get smaller, but they soon get bigger, his face twitches from anger to sadness, and I can see it all right in front of me. I just broke him.
Why? Why did that break him? He has a girlfriend. He has the girl he's wanted for a long time. He's with miss perfect. Miss dreamy. The girl he has fucking wet dreams about at night.
He just walks away angrily. Clyde looks at me confused and comes up beside me, walking with me to history.
"What was that all about?" He asks
"I kissed Tweek in front of him." I roll my eyes
"Okay, why does he care?"
"I haven't figured that out yet, but honestly I don't give a fuck." I give a lot of a fuck. I want to talk to him about it, but I can't. Not here, and not ever. He'll hear things he doesn't want to.
Clyde shrugs. I'm sure he knows I'm hiding things from him, he's not that dumb. He's also not dumb enough to push me for answers I'm not gonna give to him.

Weeks pass. Tweek and I have already broken up again. Which makes sense to me. It's hard to pretend you like somebody when you love someone else. After Tweek and I broke up Stan came back into my life. He apologized for fighting, and we hug. I shake my head
"I was just sick of being alone man." I shake my head "I didn't like him... not like that anyway.." I sigh
"If it makes you feel any better I'm struggling with Wendy too."
"Why would that make me feel better?" I ask
"I don't know." He laughs nervously
It's like he wants me to swoop in and steal his heart, but I know he doesn't want to. I feel the pressure build up inside of me. I hate that I love this guy. Okay? I hate how he kissed me. I hate how he can't just fucking be open with me.
"Do you want to go for ice cream after school?" I ask
"I'm lactose intolerant." He states
"They sell other shit too." I look at him with my eyes half lidded. He looks at me the same way. He looks around before leaning in to peck me.
"I'll text you, okay?" He says as he walks away.
I stand there, leaning against my locker as he walks away. Why does he do that? And then just run away. His kisses feel so nice... he's so good at it...
Clyde comes up to me and nudges me "Hey, man! What's got your head in the clouds?" He asks
"Stan. Now that Tweek and I aren't together he's up in my business again." I shrug
"Oo... so you've still got the hots for him?" He says as we start walking out to his car.
"I never stopped liking him. I was just hoping to force myself to stop by being with Tweek." I chuckle
"That's not how feelings work"
"Well I know that now, captain obvious." I roll my eyes
I get in his car and he drives me home, as soon as I get updates from Stan I head out to meet him at the ice cream shop. We get some ice cream, well he gets something else, but still, and we sit together. I take a couple bites before looking at him.
"What's with the... kissing me?" I ask, feeling slightly nervous as I do "you're... you're dating Wendy, dude. You can just go around kissing random people." I shrug
"It's Just you I do it to man." He responds
"Okay, why?" I ask
"I'm... I'm confused on my sexuality and I was hoping kissing you would help, but I just kinda run with my instincts without asking..." he answers
"You could just talk to me about it... I'll help you, and Wendy doesn't have to know." I wink at him.
We finish our ice cream and I take him back to my house. We go up to my room, I lock the door behind me.
"So how much did you and Tweek do?" He asks
"Why does that matter?"
"Just curious. Did you guys fuck?"
"In a couple of weeks into dating? Fuck no." I roll my eyes. "We did blow each other though." I wink at him, and Stan laughs.
"How was that?" Stan asks, with a smile
"He wasn't good at it." I roll my eyes
"Oh shit." I sit beside him as he chuckles and pulls out his flask to take a drink "okay, okay... be honest with me on this one..." he starts.
"Go for it."
"Have you ever... tried to suck your own dick?" Stan asks
I stifle my laughter "remember when I wore a neck brace in freshman year?" I ask
He gasps "you did not."
"That's one-hundred percent why I wore that." I laugh "and just so you know. I was so fucking close, I just lost my balance and fell off my bed." I laugh, as does he.
"Oh I've definitely tried..." he comments "and I can do it." He adds.
"Bullshit." I have a smile on my face. For once not using a harsh tone.
"I can! Dude. Like... I do it once every other week."
"Do you... in your mouth?"
"Fuck no, the only thing is the precum."
I chuckle and look down. Then back at him, he's looking at me. My smile falls as we look at each other. I'm sure we're both thinking of the same thing. So I go for it.
I caress his cheek and pull him in to kiss him, yep. Definitely thinking the same thing. I shift so we're both not in such an awkward position. The kissing goes into making out. I end up straddling him. My hands on his chest, and his arms around me keeping me upright on him.
When we part he starts chuckling and puts his head on my shoulder. The first question that enters my mind is 'is this what love is?' But I block that, not allowing myself to answer such a stupid question. He doesn't love me. He's just trying to figure himself out.
"Well I'm a little hard." He states
"So are you thinking you're bi?" I ask
"Yeah I'm thinking that's the case." He nods
"Fifty fifty?" I ask
"What?"
"Are you thinking you like men more or women more?"
"Oh, yeah... fifty fifty." He answers
That makes my heart a little excited. He's into guys.... but it deflates once I remind myself, once again. That he has a girlfriend.
What am I doing?