The Boy Who Broke My Leg

Chapter 17

Mufasa is stealing Alistair from me. I never thought I'd be jealous of a cat, but here we are.

After we'd gotten inside, I took a scalding hot shower and changed into a t shirt and flannel bottoms. Alistair had reheated the pasta by the time I was out. It was almost like a repeat of the previous day. We'd eaten and I'd started feeling better. The dreaded day was almost over, and I'd survived. And Alistair wasn't pissed at me, like I'd initially thought. 

Now we're sitting on the couch with the lights off, watching Friends and eating the ice cream bites Alistair had brought me. Initially we'd started off sitting half a foot apart or so, but Mufasa had decided he wanted to be part of the social action and jumped onto the sofa to sit between us, forcing us to scoot apart to accommodate him. Then he'd rested his head on Alistair's knee and meowed relentlessly until Alistair had started petting him. His tail is laying across my thigh and occasionally gives a flick of content.

Alistair is completely invested in the episode. The only time he tears his gaze away is to offer me the last ice cream bite in the bag. I shake my head and he shrugs and pops it into his mouth. I involuntarily follow it's path and suddenly I'm staring at his lips. And just like that, I'm thinking of kissing him again. He chews and swallows but all I can think about is pressing my lips against his. I'm just about to tear my gaze away, aware that I'm acting like a creep, when Mufasa jumps off the couch and Alistair turns his head to catch my stare. 

"Nessa?" he says softly.

I immediately jerk my gaze up to his eyes but it's too late. His eyes are wide in...shock? Disgust? I have no idea what he's thinking. I would trade my kidney just to know what's running through his mind right now. To my horror, I'm frozen, unable to break our stare off. I probably look like a dear in headlights.

I'm just about to pray to the God to let the floor open and swallow me up or like make me faint or something, when Alistair swallows and glances at my lips.

My brain goes static, and against my better judgement, I lean towards him. He starts to lean towards me. Our lips can't be more than two inches apart when he freezes and jerks backwards like he's been electrocuted.

"We can't", he breathes, and my heart hits my stomach. I contemplate moving to Portugal. Or Croatia. They have pretty beaches.

"Not today. You're probably exhausted", Alistair completes and I wonder what he's talking about. Oh my god, I tried to kiss a boy on my mom's death anniversary. He probably just thinks I'm an emotional wreck who needs comfort. Or that I'm so tired I'm not thinking and this was my moment of insanity. I want to tell him that no it's not because of today. That today has nothing to do with it. That I've wanted this for at least a month. Probably longer.

"I have to get going, it's pretty late", Alistair says and he stands to grab his stuff. The episode isn't even over yet. I tried to kiss him and now he's running away.

Say something, my mind screams, but I just wordlessly follow him towards the door, keeping my eyes trained at the floor.

What if he never talks to me again. What is wrong with me. Why would I just try to kiss him. Did he even lean in or did I imagine it. Oh my god, what if this is the last time we're ever going to spend time together. It definitely could be. Why can't I say anything, say something.

He puts his shoes on and steps outside.  "Vanessa?"

"Yeah?" my voice is shaking. I can't look at him. It's the friendship break up. This is when he says he doesn't want to hang out anymore. And not text. And he'll probably ask me to pretend I don't know him in class. Or best case scenario, he'll friend zone me. Would it be rude if I just slammed the door and ran away?

"If you want to try that another time, I'd be down."

I whip my head up so fast it's a miracle I didn't snap it. "Wha-wha?"

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. My mom's inviting you to Thanksgiving dinner at our place. You don't have plans already, do you?"

I shake my head, still completely at a loss to what is happening right now. Did he say he would kiss me?

"Cool, see you then."

And he turns and walks away, leaving me gaping at his back.