They left the bar still holding hands. Hoseok pulled her away from the reception area to a place that was more secluded, where a couch leaned with its back to the wall.
He indicated to her to sit down as he as well sat next to her.
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Until now, Carina hadn't realized that they still held hands. She looked at their intertwined fingers and pulled her hand away slowly so that it was now resting on her lap.
She looked down at her feet as if she did not know how to start this conversation. At that moment, a hundred different thoughts went through her mind. She was usually not shy and thought of herself as being a straightforward and honest person, but right now, she could not bring herself to either look at the man next to her or to even talk to him.
"Are you okay? You look pale." Hoseok was worried about her. He wanted answers, but even more, he wanted her to feel at ease.
Finally, Carina lifted her gaze and gave him a comforting smile.
"I'm fine. Just a bit anxious."
He retook her hand and squeezed it a bit. "You know, I already know the hardest part." He said with an understanding voice.
"Yes, I know. But I feel guilty. Guilty that I might have given you hope for something that I cannot fulfill." Her expression was saddened, but she took all her courage and continued.
"First, can I ask you how you feel about me? Just be honest, please."
"That's easy." He replied without thinking for more than a second. "I know I'm attracted to you, and I think that the more I get to know you, the more I fall for you."
This answer surprised Carina. She had not thought that he would give her a confession, but he was honest, and she really liked that about him. However, she felt sad and ashamed for her behavior and for letting him down.
"I'm so sorry." She started to apologize with tears in her eyes. "I would gladly give this a try if my situation were different. But right now, I am married, and I am a loyal person who does not want to cheat on someone as I don't want my partner to cheat on me."
Hoseok patted her back. "I know that you would say that. And I respect that because not many would do that in this situation. Loyalty is a virtue that I admire in a person."
They sat in silence for a moment, just looking at each other.
"I told you about my feelings. Can you maybe tell me what you feel towards me?" Hoseok wanted to have some kind of assurance.
Carina started to blush. Now she could not hide anymore that she was also attracted to him and that resisting this all was very difficult for her. She knew that she had to answer this question just to be fair.
"Well, maybe I should start with why you are my bias in BTS?" she said with embarrassment.
