Welcome back life

Chapter 3

The doctors are inside trying to save my mom. I was waiting outside walking here and there in the hallway . Hours passed like years , I was praying not to loose her , she is everything , I can't do anything without her , I remember every moments together , how she always saved me , loved me , believed  in me , she don't deserve this . I felt so angry , I couldn't even look into his eyes , my so called '' father '' , when the doctors asked what happened to cause that accident , he admitted that when they were fighting he pushed her so she fell and hitted her heard in the corner of the counter. I always knew and lived with the fact that my dad changed , my dad is bad and a big trouble for us but I never imagined that he can kill , I never imagined that he would reach this level . When we came to the hospital he waited until they entered my mom then he rushed out of the building after giving me  a deep eye contact , like if he was saying goodbye to me , like will never be back and my thoughts were confirmed , when someone called my name , I turned and he was a worker he gave me a note saying that some man in his middle fifties asked him to give to me. I opened the note:''

         My dear daughter;

I know that you hate me and I always been a monster and a bad father for you , and you are right I suddenly  change and became an alcoholic , I turned your beautiful life to hell and same for your mother , I didn't really mean to hurt you , I always loved and cared for you even if I didn't show , But what happened today s just something I will never forgive myself about it and I will regret it till death , from this second I will disappear from your life , please be happy and try to forgive me.

                                                             your father. ''

I was crying when I finished reading , that hurted and broke me even more , I know he is bad but he still my father , I remember him in my childhood , I do remember that good caring father and I knew that he still have that good side somewhere inside him , but he lost himself in the darkness . I didn't know how and what to feel , should I be happy that I will live in peace with my mother after him leaving, or should I be sad that my mom is fighting for her life inside and lost my father in such an uneasy situation.

..One hour, I was waiting and believe me it's the worst feeling ever , I was in deep thoughts when doctor's voice snapped me out calling my name , I jumped asking how is she, hel looked deep into my eyes with that made more nervous , then he said :''we tried so hard to keep her , but it was too late , I m sorry''  then he rushed past me , that was the most hurting sentence you can ever hear , I broke down in the hallway , I never wanted to lose the only person that gives me hope , I am an orphan , no mom no dad, completely alone. 

One week passed after the funeral, I am still not believing that  I just lost my family, I never wanted to live such a day in such  young age, but I know that I have to be strong , I learned not to trust life , everything can change in one second , your life can be upside down in a very unexpected time and an unexpected time. There was an old man in his middle fifties , he is a lawyer , an old friend of my dad , his wife is so caring and kind , they kept passing on me every day bringing food and trying to make feel better  , the old man ''Arfraid'' asked me to start working in his library, I accepted his offer since I needed money to live ,the money that was left from my mom can't actually survive me for more than three other months. I also stopped going to school , the student's and teacher pity looks and treatments are not helping at all .