Dear Fathers of the Fatherless Children

Chapter 2 Identity Crisis

Chapter 2 Identity Crisis

More than ever, our sons and daughters are suffering internally because they do not know who they are as a person. They question their worthiness of being loved and accepted. Silently, our children are fighting many burdens that we will never know; tears that are hidden; strength that they never gained; courage that doesn't exist; pain that is covered up, and breakdowns that are unseen by the naked eye.

At full speed, without brakes, our son's and daughter's lives are crumbling because they are carrying heavy loads, trying to figure out where they fit in this world. This is a huge problem because our sons and daughters are trying to fix a problem that they do not know how to solve. They do not know where to start. They search high, low, inside, outside, and sideways, not knowing the answers come from their roots (their parents).

Our son's and daughter's identities are the foundation of who they are as a person. Their identity is a part of their character that develops as they age and grow into young men and women, and follows them as they enter the world as mature men and women.

Yet, as they are grown men and women, our children's identity has been stolen because of abandonment and neglect. They try to make do with what they were given, but the question is—is it enough? Is it fair that they can only identify with half of their roots, their DNA? Using a swab to send their DNA into a "DNA bank" isn't going to give them clarity about what they are missing from their lives on a day-to-day basis.

Face-to-face, hands-on and verbal communication are the deep roots that need to be exposed on the surface. The surface is their parents; both mother and father. However, in our son's and daughter's household nowadays, the only roots they have is from what they hear and see from their mother. Fathers of the fatherless children—where are you? Expose your roots so that your children will not have to suffer from identity crises because of your absences and lack of judgment.

There are several identity crises our sons and daughters suffer from on a daily basis. They struggle, trying to understand why they weren't good enough for their father to give them a chance at love. Although they know their mother's love is never-ending, there is a void. Where is my father? Where is his love? Why couldn't I have been given a chance for him to love me? And me to love him?

Father of the fatherless children, because of your absences, your children's lack of identity has crushed their self-esteem and confidence. This lack of identity has stomped all over their ability to trust. Their father is the reason why they aren't able to trust anyone due to his neglect without cause.

Fathers of the fatherless sons and daughters, that void will never close because it's something your children will always want to know the answer to. Regardless of how old your children are—they will always be your children. If they contact you when they are grown and/or have children of their own, they will ask you why didn't you love them or allow them to love you in return? Man up and give them an answer. Sadly, for your children, but a known fact, you took the easy way out. The responsibilities of raising your children and providing financial assistance are no longer required. Answer their questions—they deserve to know the truth. You owe them that much.

Also, in our society today, we have what I call the "revolving door" fathers that come in and out of their children's lives, and who are known as the part-time fathers of the fatherless sons and daughters. They aren't any better than the fathers who simply disappeared. Part-time fathers of the fatherless children, it is beyond shameful that you have to "pencil" your child into your schedule once every blue moon. Sad, but inevitable, you play the victim when your children don't want to be bothered. They are tired of being a part of the central axis in your "revolving doors" as the turning of confusion is never-ending. Your sons and daughters are tired of their spirits being lifted by your false lies. Once again, over and over repeatedly, you disappoint and drop them at any given moment without considering their feelings. Little do you know, they become lost and buried in their emotional identity.