Dear Fathers of the Fatherless Children

Chapter 4 Chief Guardian

4 Chief Guardian

Heads of households nowadays are being run by a healthy percentage of Chief Guardians. The Chief Guardian takes up multiple roles and wears many hats. She's a leader and a groundbreaker. As she makes her struggles appear effortless, so she can gain strength to survive the next minute of the day.

The Chief Guardian is a warrior as she juggles different responsibilities all at once; trying to keep a steady pace as she balances one foot in front of the other. The Chief Guardian is fearless because she is the Queen that has to prepare for a battle against the unknown situations that occur on a daily basis.

The Chief Guardian is filled with amazing, unbelievable strength, perseverance, and wisdom. She is powerful, she is the disciplinarian, she is a survivor, she is victorious – and most importantly, she is a mother.

The mother is not only the Chief Guardian of the household; however, she is the Chief Guardian in her children's lives, as the father of the fatherless children is either no longer in his children's lives, whether he simply comes and goes as he pleases, is deceased, or incarcerated.

The Chief Guardian dives deep and pulls strength from all the hardships and struggles that are thrown at her, yet she is blamed for everything that has gone wrong. Not only is she blamed for everything, but she is also always judged by her actions. As she's being blamed and judged she's always given a shitty stick and dealt an unfair hand. How is that fair to the Chief Guardian? She is the one who has to carry the load when she doesn't have any fight left. She is the one who has to figure every burden out, without any help from the fathers of the fatherless children. Yet she finds the courage to figure it out as she keeps pushing and moving on through the pain.

There are times when the Chief Guardian complains. However, it is for a short moment because she realizes that whether she complains or not, the show must go on. On a daily basis, the Chief Guardian puts on her armor. She is unstoppable, her mind is focused on all of the responsibilities she has to execute.

Sadly, when it comes to the Chief Guardian there is no room for error. However, we are not as perfect as everyone thinks we should be. We are human. We are allowed to make mistakes. We do the best we can as the load piles up and we embrace each step to carry everything that is given and thrown at us. Just like the blood in our veins, we flow gracefully because giving up isn't an option.

When I applied for assistance at the Department of Family and Children Services, I was told I couldn't receive any assistance because I was attending a university. In order to receive assistance, I would have to drop out of school and enroll in a Technical Institution. That wasn't an option for me, so I took a chance to speak with my professor about my situation.

I was surprised by his response, "Charlena, if you like, your three-month-old daughter is welcome to join our lecture," he said as he smiled.

I sat there silently, my eyes filled with tears because I was used to hearing the word no. My professor gave me a hug. "Charlena, it is going to be okay. Normally, I wouldn't allow children in my classroom, but your determination inspires me. You have a drive. I wish my children had, and they do not have any responsibility. You should be proud of yourself," he said as he gave me some tissue to wipe my face.

Tears were flowing down my cheeks. "I do not know what to say," I said as I tried to catch my breath.

My professor's eyes were filled with tears as well. "Do not make me cry, Charlena," he said as he wiped away the tears before they fell from his eyes.

I couldn't stop crying. "Thank you. Thank you so much. I am beyond grateful."

The very next day, I had my bookbag on my back, my daughter's baby bag on my right shoulder, and my daughter on my left hip.