Uncertainty

Chapter 1

Aina

   "Surround yourself with new experiences". That's what Dr. Emily Hart, my physiatrist, keeps telling me. I've been seeing her ever since my mother had enough of my "freakish nightmares". Hart has come to believe that I simply imagine the ghosts out of loneliness. I don't fully understand how she came to that conclusion.
   I mean, yeah, I grew up with no father. Nor do I get along with my sister and half-brother. In other words, I don't have strong connections with the majority of my biological family. However that doesn't mean I'm alone. I have a few close friends that I can be myself around. Minus my ability to see the supernatural. No, after how my mother reacted and the advise Dr. Hart has given me, I felt like I needed to keep that a secret from my friends.
   At first it very difficult to keep my ability a secret from my friends. For one they noticed dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep. Plus there have been many times I was with my friends and a ghost would show up. Remember how I mentioned that the evidence of how someone died shows on their ghost? Some ghosts weren't very disturbing. But most ghost I saw had wounds that were more than I wanted to see.
   For instance there was this one time I went to a Christmas party at my best friend's -her name is Brooklyn- house. After some time, Brook wanted the two of us to go outside and build a snowman. I figured there was no harm in that. Everything was going fine at first. Brook was forming the snowman's head while I was adjusting the body.
   That's when I started to feel cold. And it wasn't because of the snow. It was the kind of cold I dreaded because it meant that there was a ghost nearby. I wrapped my arms around looked around for the source. Walking from the woods was a man dressed as if he was going hunting. There next thing I noticed was that he was carrying a shotgun. As he got closer, I noticed another detail. Something that made me want to run. There was a freaking huge hole in the middle of the man's head. It looked like a bullet wound. I wasn't sure if his gun accidently went off, if he somehow shot himself on purpose, or if someone else shot him. I didn't want to know. So I wasn't going let him come near me so he could show me.
   I ran to Brook and dragged her back into her house. "Aina? What's wrong?" Brook asked me with a confused expression.
   I quickly locked the sliding door we just came came through and shut the blinds. "I-I'm fine," I replied a bit shaken. "I jus-just got cold."
   Brook squinted her sky blue eyes at me. "We weren't out there that long."
   I looked at my gloved hands to avoid her questioning gaze. I couldn't tell her the truth. I mean, I really was cold. We live in Michigan and it's almost the end of December! But how can I tell Brook that it wasn't the below freezing temperature that chilled me to the bone. It was the chilling presence of a ghost and the horrific evidence of the ghost's death that made me want to go inside her house.
   I took my winter gear off and went over to the lit fireplace in the living room. Brook -still in her snow gear- watched me with disbelief. I tried to ignore the way she was looking at me. The way just about everyone else has looked at me. There look that makes me feel like I don't belong.
   Eventually Brook sighed, took off her snow gear, and joined me by the fireplace. She nudged me with her elbow. "Look, it's almost Christmas. A time of great cheer. For now we can enjoy the Christmas spirit in here. And if you're feeling up to it later, we can go back outside and finish that snowman. Deal?" Brook stuck out her hand for me to shake.
   I smile at her with a feeling of relief. "Deal."
   As the years went by, I've grown immune to the fear I occasionally got when I saw a ghost. I figured that if I wanted to live my life live a normal person, then I'd have to act as if everything is normal. The kind of normal everyone wants me to be.