By @name-alreadyinuse
Grammar seemed to be something that I picked up on that you were struggling with however that is easily fixed. I reccommend getting grammarly and using it to edit as it helps seek any errors and correct them as to make your writing sound more proffessional.
I love the short snappy prologue as it gives you a quick insight to the characters and the story which makes the reader more intrigued and want to keep on reading.
Paragraphs needed to be shorter as they were very bulky which can lose the focus of the reader, especially ones with short attention spans like me. The spacing between them also needs work as the large spacing is unnecessary if you are portraying the same scene.
Your descriptions are so beautiful and well thought out. It really helps you picture what you are describing in the readers head. The only thing I would say is don't use 'the' as much as you did as it gets repetetive in your descriptions. This was also the case in your prologue where you used 'the family' to start multiple sentences.
This story has a lot of potential. It just needs some editing and the plot being fully realised and you shall be there! I believe in you and your writing and I am very excited to hear more from you! Keep going my lovely! For me a 6/10 but when worked on has the potential to be higher!
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