Raising Bethany

Chapter seven

"How is she?" My father asks worriedly as I walked in the door.

"She's-" I pause, trying to keep the tears from falling. "She's going to be okay. They're going to keep a close eye on her."

I had decided not to stay with Beth overnight since they were only letting two people stay. Ryan seemed like a better choice.

My father pulls me into a comforting hug. "Ethan this isn't your fault, you didn't know."

I pull away. "That's the problem dad, I didn't know, but you knew and Mckayla knew and Ryan even knew. It's my fault because I chose to leave. I chose to not be apart of Bethany's life."

I was holding in so much anger with myself. If I could go back in time I would fix all of this and I think I'll hate myself forever because I'll never get the chance.

"Now Ethan, you can't sit here and beat yourself up over this. What's in the past can't be fixed but what can be fixed is how you choose your next steps in life. Nobody said being a parent is easy, wether you had stayed or not, there's always gonna be roadblocks. What makes you a good parent is how you choose to handle those things."

I knew he was right. If anyone knew anything about being a good parent it was my dad. After my mom left all of us, he had to figure out his way on raising Mckayla and I alone. The same way I left Megan to raise Beth alone. I had sworn to never leave my kids the way my mom left us and I had already failed. All I could do was hope to be better.

I give my dad a slight smile before heading upstairs. I notice Mckayla's door slightly cracked.

"Mind if I come in kiddo?" I ask while knocking. I could at least start by repairing the relationship I had with my own sister.

She looks up from her book slightly while nodding.

I walk in and sit on the edge of her bed.

"We haven't really gotten much time to talk since I've been back." I start.

"I guess." She says, not lifting her eyes from the book.

"Are you nervous about starting seventh grade here soon?"

"Not really." She pauses. "Megan's been giving me a lot of advice."

"What kind of advice?"

"Just useful tips." She says while still looking down at her book.

"Listen, I know I haven't been the greatest brother these past few years. I never meant to hurt you. That is the last thing I ever intended to do." I say honestly.

Mckayla looks up at me. "We used to be best friends." She starts. "And then, then you were just gone and I guess that makes sense with you going to college and everything but I spent those four years growing up with Bethany and Megan and I guess I just always questioned why you'd leave them? Why you barely came to visit dad and me?"

"I don't expect you to understand. I don't really understand it. I'm not sure I'll ever have a good enough reason."

I stopped talking. I didn't know what to say. Mckayla had every right to be upset with me. She watched her mom walk out of her life like she was nothing and I did the same thing.

"I just hope that someday you'll be able to forgive me. I don't want to lose you too." I place my hand on hers.

She contemplates for a moment before pulling her hand away and smiling. "You're so dorky. I'm your sister, you'll never lose me."

I let out a long awaited sigh before pulling her into a hug. "You really had me there for a moment." I start tickling her.

"Ethan stop. Stop!" She erupts into a continuous laughter. "Please, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She laughs.