zenaku: accept your flaws. it'll help you feel better.
ezlyn: you accepted your flaws?
zenaku: no, i accepted yours.
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zenaku: you can trust me. let's not forget who pulled you out of that river when you were six.
asrael: LET'S NOT FORGET WHO PUSHED ME IN
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zenaku: i don't know why kyotani doesn't think i respect him as a teammate.
kyotani: *walks by*
zenaku: sup bitch boy
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iwaizumi: *talking about tsuyoshi probably*
zenaku: off topic but can i burn down my own house or is that considered arson
iwaizumi: why would you even ask that??
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zenaku, to hanamaki: wow you experience emotions? smells like little bitch in here
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zenaku: ok imagine a balloon fight but they're filled with hydrochloric acid
oikawa: i'm calling your therapist
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zenaku: every time i see your face i go through the dilemma of wanting to punch you, but also wanting to hug you until all of your bones are broken
kindaichi, laughing nervously: i-is there a third option?
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zenaku: what's up twink boy
kunimi: STOP CALLING ME THAT
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zalmai: i just got a notification on my phone that i thought was telling me to die
zenaku: maybe you should listen to it
zalmai: -_-
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zenaku: you have to choose your battles.
zenaku: one of the battles that i picked was to stop asrael from running plastic tubes all over my house and placing hamsters inside them.
zenaku: he was gonna call it tube city.
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ezlyn: do you love me?
zenaku: most days
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zenaku: “ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly i'm falling asleep already.
zenaku: “fuckers” on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, casual and fun, short and to the point, exciting and dramatic, and makes you feel powerful.
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zenaku: i'm gonna drag you through hell
kindaichi: does that mean we get to hold hands?
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zenaku: the only thing i'm guilty of is being too pretty.
sayeko: awwww, self confidence
zenaku: and several war crimes including violating the geneva convention.
sayeko: what
zenaku: what
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zenaku: what's up
iwaizumi: the roof
zenaku: for now
iwaizumi: ... are you gonna steal my fucking roof?
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mafia au
kindaichi: i always wondered how zenaku could take the life of another human being
kindaichi: and then i saw him get hurt and was like "oh okay"
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kindaichi: i have decided that i am, in fact, a snack and no one is hungry
zenaku, under his breath: i'm starving
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koichi: i need a skull but you're not allowed to ask why.
zenaku: as long as you also don't ask why.
zenaku: *pulls out five pristine skulls*
koichi: *examines them closely*
koichi: hmm, this one will do
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sayeko, koichi:
PEACHYC0VE
ezlyn:
-babiegirl
