"Why wouldn't you travel by main roads?"

Episode 4, Of Banquets Bastards and Burials - Geralt

(My gifs for this one are too large for Wattpad, so once again I direct you to the AO3 version.)

"I tell you no lie, it swallowed the whole village, it did. Not a bone to be found! Oh, don't give me that look, shitling. That's why we had to call him... The White Wolf!"

So, the third episode showed that Jaskier had popularized a lot of songs about Geralt, and this one is showing it's not only let Jaskier give him a new title but actually worked as advertisement. (Does this bug other witchers? Does it, in fact, bug them way more than the Butcher business? God, I can't wait for others to show up.)

"And he stood in the middle of that frozen lake like he knew it was coming for him. The ice cracked open and a selkiemore shot out! Oh, you've never seen one, but it'd take down a ship with its cavernous mouth full of devil's teeth! And it... swallowed... that witcher... whole!"
Jaskier: "Oh, this is brilliant! Oh, sorry. It's just Geralt's usually so stingy with the details."

Oh, "usually". That word's a problem.

See, this could mean that sometimes Geralt is stingy and sometimes he's not. That's definitely what was just literally said. But people often aren't literal, and Jaskier in particular is okay massaging the truth in casual conversation, so it could also mean that Geralt's always stingy but Jaskier isn't talking precisely.

The obvious way of reading this, of course, is that Geralt hasn't a poet's soul. He simply can't give good descriptions. But we know that's false. Remember the first episode?

"Want to hear about my first monster? Wasn't 50 miles outside of Kaer Morhen. He was huge. Stinking. Bald head. Rotten teeth. He pulled that girl from the cart, tore her dress off in front of her father and said, 'It's time you met a real man.' I told him it was time he met one too. It took two strikes to kill him. They weren't clean. But they were spectacular. I turned to that girl afterwards. She was drenched in the man's blood. She took one look at me, screamed, vomited, and passed out. Yeah. I thought the world needed me too."

So something else is going on.

One option is that it's not that Geralt won't give the details, it's just that Jaskier has to pry them out of him while this guy is holding forth all on his own. Given Jaskier's about to waylay Geralt on his way to a bath, it could just be that he's bugging Geralt when Geralt doesn't want to talk right after a fight and is mistaking "stingy" for "not right now". Another, far more entertaining option is that Geralt only tells actual stories to Roach. Jaskier always gets the bare minimum but for details, he's at the mercy of what tale Geralt decides Roach wants to hear about tonight which may have nothing to do with recent events.

("Come on, surely Geralt would feel embarrassed for people to know he talks to his horse!" you say. "Surely that's a deep secret he keeps from Jaskier. Even Ciri knew to be embarrassed about it and she was not only completely alone but is a kid where that's halfway acceptable!" No. We literally see him talking to his horse in front of people and showing no shame whatsoever. Probably the only thing keeping him from doing it more is the terrible risk that nearby people might think he's talking to them and, horror of horrors, engage him in conversation. Not needing to give a fuck about acting cool and badass is possibly the only upside of being a witcher, people. Embrace the fact Geralt gives his horses the same stupid name and holds conversations with them like that's completely normal.)

Jaskier: Uh... and then what happened?
Man: He died.
Jaskier: Eh... He's fine.

At this point, Geralt arrives, covered in guts.

Now, remember that in the opening shot there's snow and the man said Geralt was attacked while standing on lake ice. Geralt did not make it all the way back to this inn without cleaning up because Geralt doesn't give a shit about cleanliness but because it is literally freezing cold. No, Geralt does not bathe only because Jaskier is as delicate a flower as his namesake. Jaskier's the one who gives zero shits about him being encrusted in gore. Geralt does not like being covered in gore. Geralt wants to take a damn bath. Not everything is because of Jaskier.