Fantasy

chapter nine

Honeys pov
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I can't believe this bullshit. I hate that little brat.

-Oh, look at me I'm tiny and cute. I need a dom to take care of me because I'm so useless. I guess i'll just steal yours.-

I scream out in frustration, pushing my face in the pillow Desa slept on last night. The smell of her hair supplies is comforting for a split second, then I'm reminded of how she's down there with him instead of me.

Ugh! I'll kill him!

The intense feeling to either strangle the little rat or to just explode makes my head pulsate and my heart beat against my rib cage.

"Mistress~" I whine into the pillow, squeezing it between my hands. Why does she give him so much attention?

I'm not an idiot, I know she isn't in love with me but...

I get it, I'm annoying and a burden most of the time. I'm not good enough..... but I'm still better then him!

It's all that stupid fucks fault I'm like this in the first place.

"Fuck him! Fuck him!" I scream as I hit the pillow I was just hugging repeatedly. "All his fault!"

I crumble into myself, kicking the pillow away from me as my body shakes. My arms pull my legs into my chest. I feel so pathetic. A dry chuckle pushes past my lips as I think of how it's no wonder Desa doesn't love me.

Why does everything hurt so much. My heart feels as though she's just ripped it right out of my chest. And I let her. Like the disgusting submissive I am.

God who am I kidding? I want her too. I want her to hurt me. To tie me up and make me cry. I've been trying to get a punishment from her for almost a week now but every time she just mostly brushes it off. I don't know what's happening. Is she finally done with me? Has she been taking her anger out on another submissive? Someone better?

Just the thought of such a thing makes me nauseous.

She wouldn't.

Right?

"She wouldn't." I repeatedly whisper to myself, rocking myself in the bed. Maybe if I said it enough my brain would believe it.

I hadn't realized I was crying until I felt arms pull me into a soft chest. I breathed in the smell of my mistress as the tears fell silently. She pet my hair and shushed me a little to harsh. Only reminding me how much I act like a little bratty child. Here I am crying, yet again. Crying. I disgust myself.

"Talk."

The simple word spoken with her raspy voice was enough to make my thighs tremble. But with that came back all the angry crashing emotions from earlier. I push from her hold, pushing away my tears as I sniffle.

"Whatever. I'm fine. You can leave. I mean unless you plan on finally fucking me." I tried smirking but it didn't come out right. I just felt so, I don't know...

She stared at me with curious looking blank eyes, two big black holes that looked as if they were constantly trying to suck your soul in. I knew if I stared into them for too long I'd give myself up to her completely, so I averted my eyes.

"Is that what you want? That's why you've been so pissy? Your horny." Her voice came as it always did, with no indication of her emotions. How could she say things like that so causally?

"Well? Hurry up, I'm sure the pancakes will be done soon." She was still looking at me, her soft looking lips pulled into a straight line. She looks bored. I'm boring her?