Shared Secrets

Chapter 13

Warnings: Mentions of sexual assault, language, violence, mentions of alcohol 

Grace's POV

"You lead me on. I don't want to date you, I want to fuck you. And you know what, I'm getting what I fucking want." I watch as the words come out of his mouth. I should run or scream or try and fight him off, but my reaction is too slow, the alcohol making everything in my brain muddled. I feel my fight or flight response triggering something in my subconscious, but my limbs are too heavy, my vision is spinning and I feel sick. The sound of my jacket ripping finally awakes something in my brain and I try to push him away. All of a sudden his weight is lifted off me and I watch as someone soundlessly pushes him to the ground and starts to punch him repeatedly. I want to cry or scream or run, but all I can do is stand there in shock watching, but not really computing what I am seeing.

"T-Tom," I manage to squeak out despite feeling like I have no control over my body whatsoever. I feel like I'm in some sort of dream, like an out of body experience, where nothing seems real. Why am I not reacting? I should be doing something, but all I feel is confusion, shock, and nausea. Tom looks at me, eyes steely, anger written all over his features. I hear his voice whispering something harshly to me, but it sounds like it's coming from far away. I don't know what to do, how to feel. What just happened? Why is Tom here? Why did I have to drink so much?

"What are you- why is- what-" Why can't I form a coherent sentence, a coherent thought? I just watched Tom nearly kill the guy, who's name I don't even remember after he pushed himself onto me. Should I be grateful, concerned, or worried? Is Tom following me? Hysteria mixed with confusion starts to bubble up inside me and I'm sure it's written all over my face. Tom takes a step closer, but I just can't face him right now. I just need to get out of here. His demeanour instantly goes from fury to concern.

"Grace...I'm so sorry. It's alright, everything is going to be alright." He whispers.

My insides start to burn and I try not to think about the drinks I had consumed earlier because just thinking about the taste makes me feel like gagging. Tom takes another step towards me and I hear him saying my name. But all I can think about is the strong fruity aroma from the drinks I had at the pub. It's all too much. Just then my body decides to act on its own accord and suddenly I'm throwing up all of the contents in my stomach. I don't even have it in me to feel embarrassed as I feel Tom come over to me and hold back my hair. My throat burns, my head throbs, and my limbs ache. I wish I never left the house.

The dry heaving finally lets up and I feel tears that formed in my eyes start to roll down my cheeks. I straighten myself up, tighten my ripped jacket around my body and attempt to walk away. I can't even look at Tom right now. There's too much going on, too many questions and I'm in no state to deal with it right now. Unfortunately, my feet and my brain just can't seem to connect and so instead of walking away I trip and stumble down the empty sidewalk.

"Grace, here, let me help you, love," Tom says, coming up behind me and gently taking my elbow to steady me.

"No!" I pull myself away from him, tears falling in earnest now down my face. "What even happened back there, Tom? Are you-are you following me or something?" The question comes out louder than I intended, but at this point I don't even feel like I am controlling my own body.

"Jesus, no, Grace. I'm not following you. I just so happened to see that wanker forcing himself onto you and I had to step in..." I can't believe this is happening.

"What do I do, Tom?" I look up at him, crying softly. Once again, despite my better judgement, I'm trusting Tom. Just like our primary school days, I'm turning to Tom to handle the situation. Entrusting him to take care of everything, to take care of me. I don't even really know what I am asking him about. What to do about the man's body lying bloodied and bruised on the cement? The words Anthony spoke to me earlier today? Or pretty much every red flag regarding him or his job?