The Dangers of Falling (A Criminal Minds Story)

VIII

I walked into the conference room, staring down at my phone and the seven missed calls from my parents.
    "Hey, guys, sorry I'm late I-" I looked up and my heart stopped, staring at the photo on the screen of the girl I knew so well. The screen quickly changed back to the Bureau logo, but I had seen it. It would be burned in my brain forever.
    "I thought you told her to not come in today." Spencer said, a fierce combination of sadness and anger in his voice.
    "I left her a message, I assumed she would listen to it." Hotch started.
    "Get her out of here." Morgan said, turning to Spencer. I didn't move. I didn't say anything, my eyes still on where the photo had been. This was impossible.
    "Why was..." I started, unable to finish the sentence.
    "Andy, come on, let's get you out of here. You can't-" Spencer started, grabbing my arm, but I ripped it away.
    "Why was my sister on the screen?" I demanded louder, and everyone looked deathly serious and sad. I started breathing heavier and faster, afraid of what someone was going to tell me next. "Why was my sister on the screen? Someone answer me!" I was screaming now, much louder than I needed to be. Everyone was quiet.
    "Clear the room." Hotch said, and everyone filed out quickly until it was just Spencer and I.
    "Spencer." I said, my voice shaking. I didn't want to believe it. I wasn't going to believe it until someone - until Spencer - told me it was real. That this wasn't some sick nightmare and I wasn't going to wake up and call Rose and she would pick up, happy as ever.
    "Andy, I'm so sorry." His voice was full of emotion, and he looked at me as if he was taking it harder than I was.
    "This is impossible." I said, backing away from him. "This is impossible. I was on the phone with Rose yesterday, she was fine, she was... she was telling me about her boyfriend and how he took her to this fancy restaurant on the beach. We were supposed to see each other in two weeks. She... she can't be. She can't be. This isn't real." I was crying now, and hard, but I could barely feel the tears through all the pain.
    "Andy."
    "This isn't real, Spencer. It isn't. Tell me it isn't."
    "Andy."
    "This isn't real. This... I can't. I-" And then, before, I knew anything else, I was on the ground, sobbing. I could barely think straight.
    There wasn't much I remembered that day, but I remember Spencer running over to me, surrounding me with him, holding me close as I cried. I remember Prentiss and Garcia coming in, too, rubbing my back, telling me it would be okay. I remember Morgan, protective as ever, waiting in the doorway, knowing that I needed my space.
    I remember Hotch sending me home, telling me to call my parents, telling me to get some sleep. I remember Spencer getting me home, coming into my apartment, and turning down the photos of Rose and I because he knew that I couldn't stand to look at them.
    I remember the pain. I remember wanting to call Rose because she was the only person I could talk about her death to. I remember finally falling asleep but waking up late in the night and seeing Spencer in an armchair in the living room, fast asleep.
    I remember waking up the next morning and he was gone.
    I wish he would have stayed.