Little Things (Helsa)

Shifting Dreams

(ELSA)

I still felt like I was sinking slowly into the water. The current didn't tug at me as strongly now, only surrounding me; as if lulling me to sleep. I felt so peaceful, and so at ease. I had no one train of thought, just an awareness of the water all around me. It cooled my skin and seeped into my soul. I drifted from one moment to the next, my mind as fluid as the ocean. I was able to look around, and saw my dress move effortlessly in gentle waves. I looked down at my hands and saw how pale they were, but that wasn't what worried me.

I thought I had been floating in water, but now there was a scene playing out below me. I saw Rovan walking into my castle. I was able to follow him around, floating just out of sight. I could hear him speaking with someone else, and I turned the corner to see another man I didn't recognize. They looked similar, maybe he was one of Rovan's brothers. They spoke quietly. Rovan actually sounded concerned. The two men kept walking down the hallways of the castle, and finally stopped at a blue door. It looked familiar, but I couldn't remember the significance of that door. I tried to think of what room they walked into and found myself frustrated by not knowing. This was my home; I know I knew every room here. However, I didn't wonder for long. As they walked in, I had my answer. I was sleeping on a bed on the left side of the room. I saw Anna sitting next to me, but she looked more grown up than I remembered. Her hair was definitely longer; I was really impressed with her braids. And the white streak in her hair was gone. She was beautiful. But had she found out about where the streak had come from? She heard the two men and turned around. I saw in her eyes how tired she was. And then I saw the worry underneath. She turned back to the bed to looking at myself sleeping. Was I sleeping? Or had something happened?

The man that had been walking with Rovan questioned Anna; asking how I was, if she needed anything. "Are you sure you want to stay with her? You haven't been sleeping nearly enough the past few nights." "I'm alright Hans, really. I don't think I'll be able to rest until I hear she's ok from herself." Just then, the door opened again, and a blonde man walked in. He also looked concerned and tired. He tried reasoning with Anna, saying, "Babe, I promise you, even Elsa would want you to take a break and sleep. You'll feel better, and then you'll be able to watch over her more later." She nodded and said, "You're right, Kristoff... I'll try sleeping in our room tonight. Even if I can't sleep, I'll feel better having laid down in bed for a few hours." Our room...? Was Anna seeing someone and she hadn't told me? I felt hurt that I had shut myself so completely out of her life that only when I was unconscious, she would mention a man. Rovan spoke again, "I'm so sorry I ever tried taking her out to sea. If only we had waited on shore for the ship, this never would have happened. She would be almost fully recovered from our brother's misdoings and this whole thing could have been behind us." He seemed genuinely uncomfortable and remorseful. The man named Hans attempted to improve the mood, saying "Theo, had you not acted, she wouldn't be here at all. Even going out to sea, you gave her a chance at life. Even if she's changed or doesn't remember things, she'll be alive. We all will vouch that you did the right thing, and I know she'd agree."

That man wasn't Rovan? Surely Anna wouldn't have let him into the castle if it was. And his name was Theo. The name sounded so familiar, as if I had known him before Rovan had stolen me from my home. Something had definitely happened that I wasn't remembering. I wondered how long I would be stuck here. Being able to observe, but still somehow being unconscious. And this Hans character. I didn't recognize him, but his voice felt soothing. I could listen to him for hours and be lulled to sleep. And the guy my sister was apparently seeing. There were so many new people Anna seemed used to. Had I really shut myself out from her that much? I didn't remember her ever really having friends, let alone all men. I felt the same guilt rise up in me. Ever since our parents died, I had seen even less of her. When I did see her in the castle she had always been smiling and full of life. It was heartwarming to see she was so upset at my current condition. She must have really loved me to stay in Arendelle all these years and to be so concerned for me.

Anna stood from the chair she had been occupying and stretched her arms. She looked so cute and made that small little squeak at the peak of her stretch. Just like when we were children. She walked out of the room and called, "Goodnight boys, let Kristoff and I know if she wakes up!" Both men responded, "We will!" Hans added, "Get some sleep, you deserve it!" They closed the door and turned over to me. Theo looked at Hans and decided to bring up something that shocked me. "So, you really loved her?" "I still do love her, Theo. I worry for her, that she may be held back by what happened. I pray she comes back to us like nothing ever happened. But..." He choked up a little and turned away from his brother, and towards where I had been floating. I saw how his eyes watered. His lips quivered, and his breath was shaky. He tried recomposing himself and finished his thought. "But...if she does not know me when she wakes, I will take my leave and let her go on with her life. I won't stay here and drag her down into a past she may be better off not remembering. My name has been cleared in Arendelle, I could live in the town and make a living somehow, and she would never have to know about me." Theo had walked closer and put a hand on his shoulder. "She would also never know what she had with you, brother. The love and friendship. A companion she could truly rely on."

I had a companionship with a man? He claims to have loved me too. I must not remember a longer period of time than I thought. There was no way I had ever courted a man, even after my parents had died. I had never considered myself lovable in that way. I mean, who wanted to be with someone that could freeze the room by being slightly uncomfortable? In fact, I was uncomfortable now, and noticed frost forming on the walls and floors. Something horrific had happened, and here I was surrounded by people I didn't know, with a past that was incomplete and lacked sense. I tried thinking of my most recent memory to ground me and found that it was a sad one. It was my 20th birthday. I had spent the whole day alone, worrying over the spreading frost in my room. I had been missing my parents and Anna that morning; grieving over not being able to celebrate with my family. The cold had only gotten worse since then. There was a short knock on my door, and I had shouted for them to go away. Only later had I opened the door to see a small cake with a candle in it. There was a card under the platter from Anna. I had felt so relieved. She hadn't forgotten about me, and her small act of kindness had made the frost disappear. Reading her card had made me feel like she was right there with me, letting me know she still loved me. That was the first birthday without my parents that I was able to go to sleep peacefully. That was the first night I knew I would be ok. Sure, I hadn't learned to control my powers yet, but I knew I would always have Anna on my side, and it made my world feel a little less lonely.

I was snapped back to the current moment. In my thoughts I had become anxious, and it was showing in this room. Frost had started to cling to the curtains, spread on the walls, and make the room colder. It made me nervous; I still didn't have control over my powers? I saw the frost spread more and more, and the two men had walked closer to the bed to try and comfort me while I still slept. Hans held my right hand in his and brushed his other over my cheek, trying to soothe me. It was so strange to see someone act that way towards me, let alone a man comforting me. "Theo, go get the doctor, she may be waking up." "What about Anna?? She'd want to know if –" Hans interrupted, shouting "Now, man! She may be waking, or we may be losing her. Either way, Anna will need the sleep she's getting now." Theo promptly left the room, leaving just Hans and I. He went back to me, eyes full of unease. I floated closer to him to get a better look at myself. I looked terrible, if I'm being honest. My hair was a mess, I had bruises healing all over my body, my left arm was bandaged, and I looked so weak. It was almost embarrassing; the queen of Arendelle laying there as if she was barely holding onto life. I looked back at Hans. As I looked at his face more, he grew more familiar. It seemed like maybe I had known him. Or at least it felt like I had known him. He was very handsome; his soft, brown eyes drew me in and I didn't want to take my eyes off them. "Elsa, I promise I will try to do what's best for you... You deserve the best. I just hope I can still be in your life, even if that must be at a distance." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, and I felt his lips touch my skin even as I was floating several feet away from him. I wasn't expecting such a gentle touch, but I appreciated his loving manor towards me.

The doctor hurried in and Hans stepped back to allow him room to work. I felt the cold stethoscope on my chest, and every touch as the doctor checked to ensure I was ok. It was a weird sensation to see someone touch you feet away from yourself. The frost had stopped spreading but was still all over the room. As I looked around at it, the room seemed to blend into one color. A dark, black-blue that felt cold and empty. I saw my dress floating in waves again and could once again feel water tugging at me and pulling me down. And then there was darkness.