Boys Over Flowers: How It Should Have Ended Part3 (The Return)

Chapter 10

"So you go about your life," she said, "and I'll go about mine. And the next time we see each other, everything will have changed but everything will be okay." - Sue Zhao

Chapter 10

If having dinner at a posh restaurant was awkward, walking around Namsan tower with Jun Pyo was even more so.

Why were they there? To bring back memories? Jan Di wasn't sure why Jun Pyo took her there.

She walked slowly, each step feeling heavier than the last.

Jun Pyo stopped walking to wait for her to catch up. "You look like you're about to throw up. Were you always this uptight?"

Jan Di frowned at him. "Were you always this observant?"

He laughed at her, amused. His eyes took on a glazed look, like he was recalling something from far away. He thought about their times together - she had always seemed like she was holding back, like she couldn't be herself around him. He'd seen her with Ji Hoo plenty of times. Seen her laugh and smile a lot, even have fun.

Slowly, he shook his head. "You were never really comfortable around me, were you?"

Jan Di's face softened and she sighed. "It's not that..."

He held his hands up to stop her from continuing, as he walked towards the railing where thousands and thousands of 'love locks' adorned it. For a brief moment he wondered whether Jan Di and Ji Hoo had a lock there with their names on it.

He looked out at the Seoul skyline – it looked eerily beautiful, even at this time of day, even with the slight smog covering the city.

Jan Di followed and stood beside him. They both looked at the city in silence for a few minutes.

His gaze wandered to the corner railing where he had sat that cold winter day waiting for her. Their first date. He thought he was going to freeze to death.

"Do you know what was funny?" Jun Pyo began, not looking at her. "I was angry at first. I let that anger fuel me for many months. I was so angry I wanted both of you to suffer. I wanted you guys to fail. To come groveling to me for forgiveness. Then I realized I wasn't angry at you guys. I was angry because I lost. Isn't that weird? A part of me knew it was bound to happen, but I was way too proud to admit that it did."

This is it, Jan Di thought. She exhaled, tension slowly leaving her body. She'd been bracing for this, not knowing when he'd bring it up. Now that it was here, she found herself able to breathe normally again.

Jun Pyo continued as Jan Di listened in silence.

"A part of me hoped you would come back. That you'd just show up in New York like you did in Macau. You'd arrive and beg me to take you back. Tell me you made a mistake. That you were just confused because we were apart for so long. I waited for a few months, ready and angry. But when you didn't come, and all I got were calls and texts from Ji Hoo, that's when I knew. I knew that it was really over. You were never coming to get me. Not without him, anyway. Not the way I wanted you to."

Jan Di wasn't sure if Jun Pyo wanted her to answer, but he kept talking so she just listened.

"It eventually got better you know, without any sort of explanation. One day I just woke up and realized I was no longer upset. I was no longer mad or hurt. I even found a slither of peace in the monotony of my day."

He turned to face her, and she thought she could see neither hurt nor pain on his face. It made her feel a little better inside.

"I had a lot of time to think about our time together. I realized that I never really made an effort to get to know you. I just barged into your life and tried to fit you into mine. I just assumed that you'd find a life of luxury with me way better than the life you had. I didn't really give you much of a choice. I thought and thought about it, and I realized I don't know much about you. It was always about me and what I wanted, wasn't it? I don't even remember once asking you what you wanted." His tone became sad, and Jan Di felt a stab of guilt in her chest. "There I was, the great Gu Jun Pyo, in my own little world. If the guys hadn't told me what happened to your shoulder, I wouldn't even have known about it. I was so preoccupied with my own issues I was blind to all the suffering you went through. All the things my mother put you and your family through. What a self-centered, inconsiderate brat I was."