Resignation(Vkook Fanfiction Completed) @Joell95

Chapter 9:

Jungkook's POV:

I can't sleep. My eyes are closed. But my mind is traveling all around the world, I think. I'm just maybe, curious about what tatay Tan had said to me awhile ago. I couldn't get the exact point, he is trying to convey. Is he saying that, we still love each other? I don't really get it.

We are now walking to the farm. Tatay's farm land. Taehyung really wants to go there. So we ended up doing what he wants. He is walking slowly, but unlike before he is now only holding my jacket for the support. After we got to the bamboo hut, we stopped there.

As I look into his face, I can feel my heart beating so fast.

Am I falling for him again? But... We're going to break now? No. I'm just curious. That's all. Tatay's words made me feel this way. I know it too well. I've already lost my love towards him. Right?

I decided to speak, but he cut me off.

"Stop staring at me... Mr. Jeon."-he said while still staring outside.

I was caught off guard. But, how can he find it out? I mean, he's blind. It's impossible that, he can read my mind though.

I fake a cough...

"I wasn't staring... At you."

Lie again.

"I was just about to talk to you."

He deep sigh.

"Jungkookie...(silence) After the break up, you can't never see me again. I mean, I just find it awful. If we pretend as strangers. I'm sorry. I... I just can't pretend, I guess. I would like to remember everything about us, for the past 7 years."-he is tearing up.

"Taehyung..."-here I am again. I'm out of words. I don't know what to say.

"It's okay. I know, you've moved on already. But, I would like to keep those memories. You can let go of me, forget everything about us, and be happy with your life. Really, I'm happy for you... It's just that, I don't want to forget you. You've been my best friend, my first love... And I want everything to stay like that. Don't worry, I won't bother you anymore after the break up.(he looked up, as if he is trying to fight back the tears.) I'll be very happy, if you go on with your life... Without me. For me, I would be contented with our memories. So, I've decided it..... After the break up, you won't ever see me... Ever... Again."

"G-great."- I don't know why. My heart maybe, is a stone now. It felt like, it doesn't feel anything anymore. If it can feel then, I know. I won't hurt him this way.

I looked at his face again. The tears are rolling down from his ethereal beauty. How can I do this to him? I really hate myself.

I don't know what is happening to me. I hurt him, I am the cause of this pain. Yet, I wanted to comfort him. I pulled him into a tight hug, before he could protest. He is sobbing really hard.

"It would be okay..."- I said still hugging him.

Really?! Jungkook! How can it be okay? How can he be okay, when you're the cause of his pain? Really? How can you say that, when you just broken his heart? How?!-shouted my mind.

After the long sobbing. He pulled away from my hug. I was confused. Now, he is staring at me like he can see my face.

"You shouldn't do this anymore..."

Oh. Yeah. I get it now. He is talking about the hug.

"I am letting you go, Jungkook. With all my heart. So please... Stop making me feel special. Coz, you know very well how much I love you. And because of these things you are doing to me, it's just going to be hard for me to let you go. I'd really want you to, just stay away from me for this coming week. In that way, I can accept it widely. That... We we're never meant for each other."

Silence...

"Let's go. We have to go home now. You still have your company, waiting for you. And I know, that you missed someone already.(he fake a smile) Let's go."-he said standing.

"Yeah. We should probably go home."- I answered back.

I am still in my deep thoughts and confusions. I don't really know what is happening. Or what I really feel inside. A week before, I'm very sure that I am no longer in love with Taehyung. That, I am in love with Jennie. I mean, Jennie is every man's ideal girl. Sexy, beautiful, rich, popular and... Well, he is the ideal type. That's why, it's no surprise that I fell for her that easily.

But now, why do I feel so bad for Taehyung? For hurting him? For breaking his heart? For saying those words? Why is my heart beating so fast for him? Why can't I erase him out of my mind? And why do I feel mad towards myself, Everytime I see him crying? Am I falling for him again? I have to sort things out. And, I think I just know how can I know what I really feel. One more date with him. I'm sure, I'll know the answer at just the end of the day.