Guard

Chapter Thirteen: Feelings

ELENA

I pushed the door open with all my might, not bothered by the pain from the pressure on my wounded hand. What if the same had happened to him?

Not even a second went by before I found myself frozen in terror and my breath caught in my throat. A long, sharp blade was swung and had stopped just millimeters from touching my throat.

"Xa-Xander it's me." I croaked out. Was it even him? I thought to myself in a panic.

I didn't even receive a reply before the sword fell and clattered on the ground, and my arms being grabbed as I was pulled inside. I let out a small shriek as the door slammed shut and came face to face with fiery blue eyes that bored into my own.

There stood Xander, his demeanour nothing like I have ever seen since I had met him.

"Where were you?" He demanded, shaking my shoulders. "Do you know how worried I was?"

I frowned, confused. "Why were you- I-I woke up and went for a walk," I explained. "Then I came back and went inside and saw my house was a mess and then the first thing I did was think of you and so I ran here and-"

"Why did you leave the house without telling me?" He yelled. "I thought you'd been taken! Or hurt! Or worse!"

"I wanted to clear my mind becau-"

"You should've stayed home!" He yelled again, turning away from me. I watched as he ran his hands through his hair repeatedly, pulling at the ends.

I had never seen this side of him. Frankly, I wasn't sure if I should be flattered that he was worried or upset. All I knew was that he was angry at me. And that, made a little flame of anger also burn inside of me. Little did he know of what I was going through.

I crossed my arms in defence. "You have no right to order me arou-"

"I'm supposed to protect you Emilia!" He exclaimed, turning back around to face me.

Emilia? By now everything that I had been feeling the past few days that had been pent up inside of me started to come out. The anger, the frustration, the sadness, the loneliness. Every negative feeling I had, combined into one.

He continued. "I'm sorry Your Majesty but I'm supposed to help you! Do you know how it feels to-"

"To help me?" I cut in and scoffed. "Did you know that everyday since we moved here, I've felt alone? Huh?" I pushed his chest in frustration, tears brimming my eyes.

"Do you know what it feels like to be in a position without support?! To be in a new place, a new environment and having to learn things all over again like I had just been born?!" I cried. "To think I had one person there to help me when in reality were never actually there?!"

I looked at him, my cheeks now wet with tears. My breathing and his were heavy and in sync. Just like always, he didn't show any emotion. He simply looked at me. I wanted to slap him and tell him to react. I wanted to fall to my knees and cry.

He ran his hands through his hair once again before rubbing his face in what looked like frustration. "I'm your guard Princess. I'm here to protect you, and keep you out of trouble. That's it." He told me.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and nodded. "Yes you've protected me. And I'm grateful for that." I told him, my throat aching. I paused and took in a breath, before letting out a shaky one. More unshed tears escaped my eyes as the words I was going to say passed through my brain to my mouth.

"But I needed a friend Cassian."

I let out a sob as pain surged through my chest. I wiped my tears again and turned back and walked away, out of his house, knowing that he probably wasn't going to react again or even do anything about it.