Guard

Chapter Fourteen: Conversation

XANDER

"But I needed a friend Cassian." A sob escaped her lips. Suddenly her body started to sink in the pool of tears that had fallen from her face to the ground. She cried out in despair and reached out to me. I reached out desperately to grab her hand but it slipped out of my grip. I tried to run to her but I couldn't move my legs as hard as I tried and I cried as I watched her drown in tears that I had caused.

"NO!" I yelled, my eyes shooting open as I abruptly sat up. I looked around me and breathed a heavy sigh of relief as I realised it was just a dream.

The events of a few days kept playing in my mind, and bits and pieces wove their way into my dreams as I slept each night. I looked out the open window to see mostly darkness still outside, but a little bit of light in the sky told me dawn was approaching. The sound of crickets and light rain falling on the roof filled my ears.

I lay back down, pulling my rough, itchy blanket up to cover my body as a gentle breeze came through.

I turned my body to the side and closed my eyes.

My mind drifted back to this morning. On the way to get some food, I observed Elena talking to a group of young children who had come to play near the flour mill. She crouched down so that she was at their level and the children seemed to love that. They shared smiles and laughter as they spoke to her. Some played with her hair while others were content just to talk. She seemed so calm, happy and simply content.

Samantha then came out from the mill with another load of flour on her shoulders and playfully scolded Elena for injuring her hand because now she had to do all the work. Elena smiled and told her it would only be one more day till she'd come back. She told the children to run along and so they all quickly gave Elena a hug before running off. She watched them run away with a small smile on her face. And then her eyes met mine.

Caught off guard I looked away and kept walking. I cursed myself for not doing anything. Frankly I was so confused with myself, I didn't know what to do. It had become a tad awkward between the two of us, I felt as if she was avoiding me, so I avoided her.

Sighing, I turned over the side begging myself to fall back asleep and savour those last minutes of sleep. But as my eyes closed I thought about Father, about William, about my life at the castle, being a guard and protecting the royal family. I thought about the confidence they had in me with regards this assignment, but what Elena had told me the other day only fueled my fears.

I was doing my job, but I also wasn't doing my job. I tried to think about what was holding me back. Was it the fact that I had never really befriended a girl? Or that I was surrounded by mostly boys my entire life that contact with women becomes awkward?

I sighed as I realised there was too much occupying my mind that I wouldn't fall asleep again. I got out of bed and took my sword out from under my bed and began my daily training exercises. I went through simple manoeuvres and then onto complex ones. I practiced swinging it side to side determined to keep my stamina high. Before long, the rooster crowed signalling the end of my training and the start of a new day.

I wiped the sweat off my face with the back of my hand and put my sword back in its sheath and under the bed.

I got myself ready and headed out of the door. Sam and Elena already started walking and so I ran a little to catch up with them. Their arms were linked together as they took their time as they walked. As the cool air from the early morning rain whisked around us, my mind thought back to my dream. The hair on the back of my neck stood up, either from the cold or from the eerie feeling of fear within me.